The Plaxico Burress Sweepstakes!

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The Plaxico Burress Sweepstakes!

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

Do you guys and gals remember Plaxico Burress?

He was that marginally talented receiver with a head fun of bricks who shot himself in the leg at a night club and then went to jail because carrying weapons and firing them in a night club, even if it is an accident, is often frowned upon.

On a side note, someone should also look into bringing charges against his parents for naming him Plaxico. Seriously parents, think before you name your kids. Just because a name is different doesn't mean it is good or cool. This is borderline child abuse.

Anyway...where were we? Oh right, Mr. Burress.

He is getting out of jail next week and there is talk about him continuing his NFL career this season, assuming players and owners get over their petty arguments and there is a season, and apparently a few teams are interested.

Michael Vick spent a good amount of time in jail and is now thriving in the NFL and teams with a need for a receiver who isn't afraid to pack some heat are sniffing around Plaxico. If the NFL has a season, where would he fit in?

Here's a few teams that are interested and reasons why Plaxico could thrive there.

Baltimore Ravens

Burress has spent time in jail....and many believe Ray Lewis should have, so they have that in common. If you remember, years ago Lewis was accused of murder but got off by making a plea and testifying against his buddies.

It could potentially be a match made in heaven, especially when it comes to team costume parties.

Plaxico shot himself in the leg and rumor has it they used crude methods to replace his leg in prison. Supposedly he's got a peg leg like a pirate. Ray Lewis, much like a parrot, never ever shuts up when you want him to. They'll be fast friends.

Philadelphia Eagles

Michael Vick would welcome Plaxico with open arms. Perhaps having another guy on the team who made a terrible, idiotic mistake will take away any of the lingering talk of Vick's dog fighting ring. The two could give talks to their teammates about how bad jail is, detail all the lessons they learned and talk about how much they missed their mansions while in jail.

This would also be a huge boost for Eagles head coach Andy Reid. He could finally live out his dream of re-enacting that movie The Longest Yard with his ever growing collection of ex-convicts.

Vick has a much better arm than Adam Sandler. Not entirely sure Andy Reid is a better coach than Burt Reynolds though.

New York Jets

The Jets, as an organization, seem to love grabbing headlines more than grabbing titles and signing Plaxico would be about head line grabbing score for them and they'd have another receiver Mark Sanchez could under throw a ball to in a critical moment of a game.

Plaxico used to play for the Giants and is already accustomed to the New York night life, as the hole in his leg can attest to, and he can always bring his gun when the Jets play the Patriots and challenge those guys dressed like Minutemen on the sideline to a shooting contest!

Plus, Rex Ryan looks incredibly similar to the Big Boss Man, a wrestler who dressed like a prison guard, so maybe he could keep Plaxico in line.

Oakland Raiders

Just look at facts. Al Davis will sign ANYONE. You have to believe the Raiders will be in the mix.

Seriously, why is Al Davis still allowed to make decisions. And how is he still alive?!?!

New England Patriots

We know what you're thinking.... it is crazy to think the Pats would be interested. But Bill Belichick is a vengeful, vengeful man. He will probably sign Burress and then just bench him every game while Brady and Welker throw footballs at his head.

Yeah.this could be BIG trouble for Burress. Belichick is an angry man.

WATCH: Celtics vs. Hornets

WATCH: Celtics vs. Hornets

Tune into CSN to watch the Celtics host the Hornets at TD Garden. You can also click here to watch the Celtics livestream presented by McDonald's on the NBC Sports App. Coverage begins at 7 p.m. with Celtics Pregame Live Presented by ACE Ticket.

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Celtics-Hornets preview: Boston, Charlotte heading in opposite directions

Celtics-Hornets preview: Boston, Charlotte heading in opposite directions

BOSTON -- The last time Boston saw the Charlotte Hornets last month, both teams were streaking in the wrong direction with each coming in having lost three in a row.

Both come into tonight’s game streaking, although in two very different directions.

Boston (25-15) has won 12 of its last 15 games to firmly establish itself as the third-best team in the East behind Cleveland and Toronto. Meanwhile the Hornets (20-20) are on the cusp of falling below .500 for the first time this season after losing their last four games.

Still, Celtics coach Brad Stevens has seen enough of this Hornets team to know that a win tonight won’t come easily.

“This is a good team,” Stevens said. “We all know Charlotte. They don’t beat themselves. We’ve had to play really well against those guys. This is going to be a tough one, as we all know.”

Figuring out why these two teams are trending in opposite directions isn’t all that complicated.

For the Celtics, their success of late has hinged heavily on their ability to make 3-pointers. Meanwhile, Charlotte’s problems have had a lot to do with a tough slate of road games (all four of their recent losses were on the road) and their inability to make shots which has been an issue in some form for them all season regardless of the opponent.

Look at the last four games, all of which the Hornets lost while the Celtics won three of their four games in that span.

The Hornets rank 21st in scoring with a 101.5 points per game average while the Celtics average 110.8 points which ranks 8th in the league.

Charlotte ranks dead-last in the league the last four games when it comes to shooting the ball (40.5 percent), while Boston comes in 18th at 46.0 percent.

But it’s the 3-point shot and its impact on having an effective field goal percentage, that really separates these two.

Boston has averaged a league-best 15.3 made 3-pointers in the last four games while the Hornets and their 9.8 made 3’s ranks 20th.

And as far as its impact on eFG%, Boston comes in with the eighth-best eFG% in the league (54.8 percent) while the Hornets next-to-last in the NBA with an eFG% of .462.

So what does that mean tonight?

Boston will look to continue being fueled offensively by good ball movement and attacking the rim which in turn should result in lots of good looks from 3-point range which is clearly a strength of this team.

Charlotte will search for other sources of offense besides former UConn star Kemba Walker who is on the short list of candidates for a spot on this year’s Eastern Conference all-star roster.

As was the case in Charlotte’s 102-93 loss to the Philadelphia 76ers on Saturday, an off-night shooting for Walker (17 points, 7-for-23 shooting with three assists) left the Hornets extremely vulnerable to defeat. Similar struggles tonight will provide a similar ending for Charlotte which would allow both teams to continue streaking along … something the Celtics wouldn’t mind at all.