By Jon Fucile
The Patriots are on a bit of a slide and, as is the tendency with New England sports fans, everyone is overreacting. Trade Welker for Tim Thomas! Fire Bill and bring in Joe Paterno! Paul Pierce isnt doing anything; can he catch a football?!
But by far the most absolutely ridiculous group of fans is the surprisingly large group that wants Brady benched.
Wait, excuse us? You want Brady benched? In your mind the Patriots have a better chance to win with Tom Brady sitting his chiseled behind on the bench? As soon as we heard this we made a pie chart highlighting the percentage of people who believe this that might be stupid.
This same group of people thinks that rookie Ryan Mallett, he of the three pre-season starts where he looked great in one and awful in the other two, should start over Brady. Anyone who wants Mallett to start over Brady must have been fed nothing but peanut butter and lead paint sandwiches as a child. Here is a quick comparison chart for you people on Team Mallettt, assuming you can read:
Idiots. Plus, how it is Bradys fault that the Patriots are mediocre? Oh, wait, we understand your logic now.
Obviously it is Brady's fault that the defense is so awful that they can't hold a lead of any kind and might even give up 40 points to a local Pop Warner team full of pimple faced teens. When we look at Bradys totals this season he doesnt have a single interception.
Is Brady the one dropping passes left and right so that the quarterback is forced to only throw to Welker and The Gronk?
Is Brady making awful, uncharacteristic game-costing coaching decisions?
In case youre really stupid, the answer to every question is a resounding NO!
The issue here is that Brady has set standards so high that if hes just great instead of super great people get all pissy because hes not throwing 20 touchdown passes per game. Also, New England sports fans as a whole are ungrateful, short sighted, unappreciative fools. Sure Brady is on pace to break Dan Marinos record for most passing yards in a season despite having just two receivers, but yeah, he should totally be benched.
You buffoons are drunker than the Red Sox pitcher staff if this thought has ever entered your mind.