By Adam Hart
Don't laugh at Alexander Ovechkin.
There are plenty of other non-Canadians who need double runners to go ten minutes on the ice without falling. Most of the needy are under the age of five, but the Russian conversion rate is tricky.
What happened to the Ovi we knew and mildly tolerated? The perennial 50-goal scorer is far off his typical pace, sitting well below the league leaders with a paltry 19 pots. To blame? A loss of balance.
A simple brush from a passerby's elbow causes him to fly off the ice like a penguin.
Penguins can't fly.
But are NHL referees really penalizing Ovi for diving? Is it so unbelievable that he has an inner ear condition? Yes. Yes, it is.
What a faker.