By Justin Aucoin
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com
If you havent heard by now, the NHL has teamed up with Stan Lee (yknow, the guy who created Spider-Man, X-Men, etc.) to create the Guardian Project30 new super heroes, one for each NHL team.
At first we were excited about the project. Hockey and comics? Jackpot!
Bu, of course, it also had the chance of going the way of the Mighty Ducks cartoon.
Or how about Pro Stars. Remember this 90s classic?
But we clung onto optimism thanks in part to this promo video:
Alas, it looks as if Stan Lee and the NHL put more effort into that promo vid than they have with the actual designing of the 30 Guardians. So far five guardians have been released and they are well special.
THE PENGUIN
A 100 rip off of another Stan Lee character: Cyclops.
THE BLACKHAWK
He controls the win. Ask anyone in Chicago and theyll tell you he doesnt do it very well.
THE HURRICANE
The NHLs Mortal Combat reject.
THE SABRE
Wait, arent you part of the DC universe?
THE KING
Thors bastard son. But hey, at least it wasnt this king:
This is what nightmares are made of.
After seeing these train wrecks our morbid side couldnt help but wonder what the other Guardians might look like. So, we pulled an Ethan Hunt, found the knock list and got some sneak previews of some Guardian designs for a few other teams.
THE LEAFS
Fight crime only in the morning and sometimes at dinner time when justice gets a special craving.
THE DEVIL
Fights injustice (bwah?) with his rocK. Only known enemy: Tenacious D
THE OILER
Super villains cant rule the world if they cant accord to drive getaway cars, right?
THE SENATOR
Finally, the hunchback from 300 finds a purpose.
WALKER, TEXAS RANGER
New York and Dallas are fighting over who gets the rights to Chuck Norris.
Insert Chuck Norris joke
THE PREDATOR
Ummm. Err.
His enemy:
And lastly:
THE BRUIN
CARE BEAR STARE!!!!!
We can only hope our intel is wrong and the last 25 Guardians are better. Fingers crossed
Check out Justin's other phenomenal photoshopping on the blog: Days of Y'Orr.