NHL Guardians: Worst. Superheroes. Ever.

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NHL Guardians: Worst. Superheroes. Ever.

By Justin Aucoin
Special contributor to WickedGoodSports.com

If you havent heard by now, the NHL has teamed up with Stan Lee (yknow, the guy who created Spider-Man, X-Men, etc.) to create the Guardian Project 30 new super heroes, one for each NHL team.

At first we were excited about the project. Hockey and comics? Jackpot!

Bu, of course, it also had the chance of going the way of the Mighty Ducks cartoon.

Or how about Pro Stars. Remember this 90s classic?

But we clung onto optimism thanks in part to this promo video:

Alas, it looks as if Stan Lee and the NHL put more effort into that promo vid than they have with the actual designing of the 30 Guardians. So far five guardians have been released and they are well special.

THE PENGUIN
A 100 rip off of another Stan Lee character: Cyclops.

THE BLACKHAWK
He controls the win. Ask anyone in Chicago and theyll tell you he doesnt do it very well.

THE HURRICANE
The NHLs Mortal Combat reject.

THE SABRE
Wait, arent you part of the DC universe?

THE KING
Thors bastard son. But hey, at least it wasnt this king:

This is what nightmares are made of.

After seeing these train wrecks our morbid side couldnt help but wonder what the other Guardians might look like. So, we pulled an Ethan Hunt, found the knock list and got some sneak previews of some Guardian designs for a few other teams.

THE LEAFS
Fight crime only in the morning and sometimes at dinner time when justice gets a special craving.

THE DEVIL
Fights injustice (bwah?) with his rocK. Only known enemy: Tenacious D

THE OILER
Super villains cant rule the world if they cant accord to drive getaway cars, right?

THE SENATOR
Finally, the hunchback from 300 finds a purpose.

WALKER, TEXAS RANGER
New York and Dallas are fighting over who gets the rights to Chuck Norris.

Insert Chuck Norris joke

THE PREDATOR
Ummm. Err.

His enemy:

And lastly:

THE BRUIN
CARE BEAR STARE!!!!!

We can only hope our intel is wrong and the last 25 Guardians are better. Fingers crossed

Check out Justin's other phenomenal photoshopping on the blog: Days of Y'Orr.

Report: Aroldis Chapman, Yankees reach deal for $86M, 5 years

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Report: Aroldis Chapman, Yankees reach deal for $86M, 5 years

OXON HILL, Md. - Aroldis Chapman found a spot in a most familiar bullpen - a very rich spot, too.

The hard-throwing closer reached agreement to return to the New York Yankees on Wednesday night with the highest-priced contract ever for a relief pitcher, an $86 million deal for five years.

A person familiar with the negotiations told The Associated Press that the contract was pending a physical. The person spoke on condition of anonymity because the deal was not yet complete.

Once it's done, the 28-year-old lefty whose fastballs routinely top 100 mph would shatter the previous richest contract for a reliever - that was the $62 million, four-year deal Mark Melancon signed with San Francisco just a couple days ago during the winter meetings.

Chapman was acquired by New York from the Cincinnati Reds last offseason, then missed the first 29 games of the season due to a domestic violence suspension from Major League Baseball. The Cuban was traded to the Chicago Cubs in late July and helped them win the World Series, becoming a free agent when it was over.

Chapman went 4-1 with 36 saves and a 1.55 ERA in a combined 59 games for the Yankees and Cubs. He struggled some in the postseason as the Cubs beat Cleveland for their first championship since 1908.

With the Yankees this season, Chapman teamed with Andrew Miller and Dellin Betances in one of the most dominant bullpens in baseball history. Miller was later traded to Cleveland, but Betances is still with New York.

Earlier this week, Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said the team was interested in both Chapman and fellow free agent closer Kenley Jansen. The Yankees had already made one deal at these meetings, signing slugger Matt Holliday, before paying a lot more to bring Chapman back to the Bronx.

Fox Sports first reported the agreement.