NHL enforcer battling drug abuse

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NHL enforcer battling drug abuse

From Comcast SportsNet Friday, September 9, 2011

VOORHEES, N.J. (AP) -- As rain washed over him, Todd Fedoruk stumbled on the streets of Tampa in his latest haze, this one ignited by a concoction of booze and cocaine.

His secret, reckless lifestyle had fueled his transformation from NHL enforcer to a junkie hooked on cocaine and marijuana that threw his life and career into jeopardy. Fedoruk had been in this dark place before, believing he beat his addiction the first time with the same steely will he needed to scrape with the baddest bullies in the league to earn his keep in the NHL.

Yet here he was, back socializing with the wrong crowds, patronizing the seedy part of towns, hustling for whatever type of drugs he could abuse. On a rainy pre-dawn trip after the 2010 season, a disgraced Fedoruk had nowhere to hide.

"I didn't want to drive anywhere because I was loaded," he said. "I couldn't stay in the house because I was paranoid. All the insanity came back.

"I knew everything was coming to an end. I didn't care about hockey anymore. I didn't care about my family. I was struck with this feeling of, how the hell did I get back here after everything I've been though? How the hell did I get back in this position again?"

He needed help. Drug addiction was not a disease he could fight alone.

Sitting in an NHL locker room, drinking a cup of coffee, Fedoruk now believes he's one of the lucky ones. In a summer that has the NHL reeling from three chilling deaths of noted tough guys, Fedoruk is alive to share his story.

"A lot of guys in my role," he said, "kind of carry these demons around with them."

Guys like Derek Boogaard.

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The first time Fedoruk met Boogaard, they were teenage prospects in Regina, Saskatchewan. Fedoruk, four years older, saw a kid who couldn't skate, couldn't fight a lick, yet had already grown into his 200-plus-pound frame that would serve him well as one of the league's top instigators.

Boogaard and Fedoruk would meet up again in the NHL under more unruly circumstances.

The first time they brawled in 2005 -- Boogaard with Minnesota and Fedoruk with Anaheim -- it resembled the scene out of one of those cartoon dust clouds. Each player got in shots, jerseys were yanked over heads, and helmets went flying before the officials broke it up.

On Oct. 27, 2006, they had the rematch. Boogaard threw a couple of jabs at Fedoruk's face during what at first appeared just a replay between two men who made a living as guardians of the game.

Boogaard, though, ended the fight like it was Tyson-Spinks when he dropped Fedoruk with a punishing right hand. Fedoruk clutched his face and dropped to his knees before quickly popping back up and skating back to the locker room. Boogaard raised his arm in victory as he skated to the penalty box and an appreciative Wild crowd roared in approval.

Fedoruk needed five plates on the right side of his face to recover from the beating and missed 18 games. He returned to the lineup in December and kept fighting -- even after removing his face shield. Faces can always be repaired. Reputations as a soft player are harder to overcome in the rough-and-tumble NHL.

Even with titanium plates in his face, Fedoruk wasn't about to fall off the wagon. He had been clean for nearly six years and had been scared straight when his first organization, the Philadelphia Flyers, ordered him to rehabilitation.

It wasn't until Fedoruk found himself playing for Minnesota -- and formed an unlikely alliance -- that the sober ship started to steer off course.

The Wild claimed Fedoruk off waivers in 2007 and assigned him a conjoined stall with Boogaard. Boogaard dressed to the immediate right of his one-time victim. Fedoruk eased tension in the locker room among his new teammates with humor.

"I said I didn't feel comfortable with him on my right side. I asked if he wanted to switch stalls," Fedoruk said. "He chuckled and he laughed at it. It was kind of an icebreaker."

The pairing also started a budding friendship.

Boogaard apologized repeatedly to his friend through the years for the attack and the duo became late-night running buddies. They were roommates and vacationed together. They forged a bond based on a common background, common goals -- and a shared knack of self-destructive behavior.

Boogaard carried those demons Fedoruk described and partied hard. Fedoruk went harder. He relapsed during the 2006-07 season and plummeted deeper into the abyss of addiction each year, hitting a peak in Minnesota, even as he knew Boogaard was battling his own personal troubles.

"I don't think we were good for each other," Fedoruk said. "We had a common 'misery loves company' type of relationship. I remember always talking to him about being careful.

"But it was the pot calling the kettle black because I was messed up, too."

As Fedoruk bounced from Phoenix to Tampa Bay, he stayed in touch with Boogaard. He heard Boogaard was in rehabilitation and reached out to his troubled friend, hoping he could offer the type of advice he was longing for through his own journey.

It was too late. Fedoruk talked to Boogaard's brother, but that was as close as he got to Boogey.

Boogaard was found dead in May due to an accidental mix of alcohol and the painkiller oxycodone. His death gave Fedoruk the kind of scare he wouldn't get on his loneliest, drug-addled nights. It could have been him.

"I was doing," Fedoruk said, "the exact same things."

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With his blond hair, blue eyes and good-natured personality, Fedoruk could pass as the All-American boy if you didn't know he was from western Canada. Fedoruk was raised in Redwater, Alberta, a small farming community where hockey was the only way for him to escape boredom. He beams as he talks about skating down roads to three rinks created in empty lots for the neighborhood kids. How fathers competed to create the best rink -- his dad affixed lights to metal poles -- so kids could stay outside and play hockey through the winter chill all night long.

As he got older, there were more hazardous ways to pass the time than with a stick and puck.

He remembers being 14 or 15 years old, hanging with a group of older teens when he got drunk for the first time. A shy kid, Fedoruk was suddenly the center of attention. His social fears and anxieties evaporated one sip at a time. His idea of an alcoholic was some bum under a bridge with a brown bag in his hands, not a blossoming hockey star with his eyes on the NHL.

"What booze did for me at that age, I fell in love with it instantly," Fedoruk said. "What I felt that night stayed with me forever. I had found a new friend. And it was alcohol."

He could have used a more pious sidekick. Fedoruk's drinking increased and he spent a night in jail at 19 because of a bar fight directly related to his alcohol consumption.

Fedoruk moved on to harder partying and later nights. His drinking morphed from casual fun to an addiction. That didn't prevent him from getting drafted. The Flyers made him a seventh-round pick in the 1997 draft.

What drinking did was halt his promotion to the NHL. He was out of control at 20 when the Flyers gave him an ultimatum: Get help or he'd be sent packing.

Fedoruk did what he could to salvage his career and got clean. He checked in to Marworth in Waverly, Pa., for alcohol and chemical dependency treatment. He was admitted for a 28-day stay, but was let out after only 17 days.

Fedoruk always felt like he didn't fit in and was socially awkward around people. At Marworth, he found answers and ways to cope that didn't involve hitting the bottle.

For almost six years, he found a new friend in sobriety. He was promoted to Philadelphia and played 53 games as a rookie. He played four seasons with the Flyers, then won a championship with their AHL team during the lockout.

His best years, personally and professionally, were sober. Fedoruk met his wife -- they wed after a Flyers practice -- and had their first had child when he was clean.

He was traded to Anaheim and had the gritty forward career year in 2005-06 with 23 points in 76 games.

And he never refused a fight.

Fedoruk underwent surgery in November 2003 after a fight with Eric Cairns of the New York Islanders left him with a broken face. He was clobbered by New York Rangers enforcer Colton Orr in 2007, caught with a hard right against his reconstructed left cheek that sent him down and out on his back. Surgeons implanted a small, permanent titanium plate in Fedoruk's upper cheekbone to stabilize the orbital structure.

Fedoruk couldn't maintain his straight-and-sober lifestyle for much longer.

He was just a young, rich athlete having a good time in a sport where alcohol is about as ingrained as nets and pads. That's not milk champions swig out of the Stanley Cup.

Eventually, his run of good fortunate collapsed again.

"I always told myself, as long as you're not doing coke," he said, "it's not going to be that bad."

But there was more coke.

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Fedoruk says he lived three lifestyles.

One as a brawling hockey player who upheld a code of conduct, one as a devoted family man, and one as a relapsed drug addict who secretly prowled the streets for his next big score. There was no trigger point, no defining incident that sent his life spiraling back out of control. He simply says he lost focus on the big picture of how to maintain his sobriety.

He wanted to be the life of the party.

"I was loud, somewhat obnoxious," he said. "It was always, let's go, let's keep it going. It was 6 a.m. and I was looking for people to wake up and keep going."

Fedoruk insisted fighting and years of absorbing blows was not the sole reason he returned to drugs. He had money and some fame and couldn't handle the fine line between needing a weekend binge and falling into the deep end of addiction.

"I wanted that oblivion. That's what I craved, that escape," he said. "With being sober, everything is real. You've got to deal with (stuff)."

He's had to cope with the offseason deaths of Boogaard and enforcers Wade Belak and Rick Rypien. Belak hanged himself and Rypien was discovered at his home in Alberta after a call was answered for a "sudden and non-suspicious" death.

Like Fedoruk, all three prided themselves on answering the bell for the next fight.

"Could the pressure of fighting make you want to pick up? Yeah, I think that can be a trigger," Fedoruk said. "I think it is a trigger. For me, it was. You just want to forget about having to fight the guy. You line up against a guy like Boogey, God rest his soul, but he's 267. He's a big man. You think about that a week before you fight him."

After some soul searching in April 2010 following the rainy Tampa meltdown, Fedoruk felt worthless and turned to rehabilitation for a second time. In this stint, he completed a 28-day intensive outpatient program at Turning Point of Tampa.

Fedoruk calls April 26, 2010 his sobriety date -- and a not a day too soon.

"Everything you put in front of me," he said, "I did."

Even with cocaine in his system, Fedoruk said he never failed a drug test. He also said he never took hard drugs with other NHL players.

Fedoruk entered the NHLNHL Players' Association Substance Abuse and Behavioral Health Program, which he knows helped save him. He truly believed the league cared about the physical and mental health of its players.

His wife, who could have bolted so many times, stuck by him. Fedoruk took a self-imposed sabbatical from the game last season and put his health and family life in order. The couple celebrated the birth of their third child, and his break made him realize how much he wanted to play again.

Fedoruk had 97 points and 1,050 penalty minutes in 545 NHL games with six teams over nine seasons. His agent let teams know Fedoruk was primed for a comeback and he signed a tryout contract with the Vancouver Canucks in August.

Assistant general manager Laurence Gilman said the Canucks did their homework and had a candid conversation with Fedoruk about his ordeal. The Canucks found a player who loved the game and had his priorities in order.

"We felt it was worth it to give this person an opportunity," Gilman said. "If he comes to camp and performs well, and fits in with our group, he'll have every opportunity to make our team."

If Fedoruk makes the roster, he'll keep throwing punches if that's what it takes stay in the league.

"If he plays here," Gilman said, "we expect him to play in the same manner."

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In the weeks leading into mid-September training camp, the 32-year-old Fedoruk frequently trained at the Flyers' practice facility in Voorhees, N.J. Drug abuse or not, a year off for any reason can be fatal to a 30-something athlete, and Fedoruk needs all the work he can to make a team fresh off a run to the Stanley Cup finals.

He knows questions about his hockey abilities are a distant second to ones about maintaining his sobriety. Fedoruk calls it a "healthy fear" that he could relapse and vows to take the necessary steps to prevent one in Vancouver.

He wanted to share his story before camp because he's tired of keeping secrets, and to maybe help the next Fedoruk -- and prevent the next Boogaard.

"There is help out there. There is a way out," Fedoruk said. "It's just getting to the point where you can say, all right, I give up. I'm done. I don't want to fight this fight anymore."

He keeps a close circle of sober friends now and, while not becoming an overbearing born-again, more frequently attends church.

His confidence and a healthy lifestyle have been restored and he understands the daily maintenance needed to live the rest of his life without succumbing again to drugs.

"I don't want to relapse again," he said, "I know that much."

Tuesday’s Red Sox-Rays lineups: Pedroia returns, Pomeranz on mound

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Tuesday’s Red Sox-Rays lineups: Pedroia returns, Pomeranz on mound

Dustin Pedroia returns to the lineup after missing two games to attend a family funeral as the Red Sox play the middle game of their three-game series with the Tampa Bay Rays tonight at Fenway Park.

Pedroia is back at second base, batting leadoff, as the Red Sox look to make it two in a row coming off a 9-4 victory on Monday night.

Brock Holt, who filled in a second in Pedroia’s absence, moves to left field and Bryan Holaday catches left-hander Drew Pomeranz (10-10, 2.95 ERA) for Boston. Pomeranz struck out a career-high 11 in his last start against the Rays, last Thursday in St. Petersburg. 

Right-hander Jake Odorizzi (9-5, 3.53) starts for the Rays.

The lineups:

RAYS

Logan Forsythe 2B

Kevin Kiermaier CF

Evan Longoria 3B

Brad Miller 1B

Matt Duffy DH

Tim Beckham SS

Scott Souza Jr. RF

Corey Dickerson LF

Luke Maile C

Jake Odorizzi RHP

 

RED SOX

Dustin Pedroia 2B

Xander Bogaerts SS

David Ortiz DH

Mookie Betts RF

Hanley Ramirez 1B

Travis Shaw 3B

Brock Holt LF

Bryan Holaday C

Jackie Bradley Jr. CF

Drew Pomeranz LHP

 

Haggerty: Bruins say hunger is back, but we must see it on the ice

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Haggerty: Bruins say hunger is back, but we must see it on the ice

BRIGHTON – It only amounts to lip service coming in the first few days the Bruins players are simply getting together for informal captain’s practices, but it’s pretty clear the fire is burning brightly after missing the playoffs two years in a row.

For a group that still includes some players that made the playoffs seven seasons in a row, made it to the Cup Finals twice and hoisted the Stanley Cup in 2011, it feels like that sting of pride is very close to the surface.

Torey Krug wouldn’t even entertain discussion of last season when asked about it following Monday’s skating session at the new Warrior Ice Arena practice facility. David Krejci said he’s officially done talking about winning the Cup five long years ago. Now, it’s about righting the ship for the Bruins, and getting things back moving in a positive, forward progression after moving backwards and sideways over the last two years.

As always, the playmaking Krejci gives a straight, honest take about where the team is on the down side of their Cup years.

“I feel like we’re back to where we started 10 years ago, you know? The teams didn’t make the playoffs, and now we kind of have some new guys. It’s still a good mix with some experienced guys,” said Krejci. “But the hunger, it’s there again. Obviously we haven’t been in the playoffs for a couple of years. It’s exciting times.

“If you go back to 2011 and then to 2013, we were in the Final. But we knew that we had already won two years before. We did try, but you always knew in the back of your mind that you’d already won the Cup. Now, it’s like the Cup is out of the window and that was a long time ago. I’m going to talk about the Cup when I retire, so now we’re all hungry again. We missed the playoffs two years in a row, and it’s a new excitement again. I just can’t wait to get back into it.”

Krejci’s first full season in the NHL was actually the year that the B’s made it back into the postseason in 2007-08, but he was close enough to the organization to see what it was like at the 2006 training camp when a great deal was in flux for the Black and Gold.

It’s not unlike the big changes that the Bruins have seen in the past two years with the hopes that there will start being a payoff in the near future.

It’s exciting for Krejci, in particular, as he should be 100 percent healthy for the first time in three years after surgery on his left hip last spring. A healthy Krejci and Patrice Bergeron will give the Black and Gold their potent 1-2 punch down the middle and there’s also a healthy chip on the shoulder of the B’s defensemen crew after a difficult campaign last year.

Krug admitted as much while brushing off big picture questions about what happened last season, and why this season should be any different for a group of seven defensemen returning from last season’s crew ranked 19th in the league.

“I’m not going to talk about [last year]. We’re moving on. This group will use it as motivation moving forward. With this new practice facility, everybody is excited to get back together and start moving forward,” said Krug. “We have [D-men] pieces in here that maybe people aren’t getting too excited about, but we know what we have in this room. We’ve grown and developed together.

“We know that we’re highly capable of taking whatever is thrown our way. But I know the D-men especially are motivated to prove a lot of people wrong that we’re not ready to compete, and not ready to be a playoff team.”

That’s essentially what it comes down to for the Black and Gold. They can talk about regaining the hunger to compete and utilizing last season’s failures as motivation for this season, but it all amounts to nothing unless they show it on the ice on a consistent basis.

It will be months before everybody truly knows if it’s more than talk from the Bruins and before we learn whether the B’s even have the talent on the roster to truly compete in a difficult, improving Atlantic Division. 

For now, the optimism is running high for the returning Black and Gold players and that registers as something as they slowly ramp up to the start of training camp next month and the season opener on Oct. 13 in Columbus against the Blue Jackets. 

 

Belichick: 'All the experts in the league' can decide on number of preseason games

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Belichick: 'All the experts in the league' can decide on number of preseason games

FOXBORO -- After Ravens tight end Benjamin Watson went down with a torn Achilles in a recent preseason game, Baltimore coach John Harbaugh said he wouldn't mind if the league eliminated preseason games. 

"If I had my choice, I'd go none," Harbaugh said. "That might be an extreme point, but we could run scrimmages, or we could run practices against other teams and figure it out. We'd all be in the same boat. That's for people higher up than me to decide."

Patriots coach Bill Belichick was asked on Tuesday afternoon for his thoughts on the value of the preseason. 

"I think I’ll let all the experts in the league decide that," Belichick said. "That’s not really my job. My job is to coach the team. But, I think our joint practices give us extra opportunities to evaluate the team. That’s why we use them.

"I’d say probably almost every team in the league does that. There might be a couple who don’t, but most of them do one, sometimes two. It seems to me like most of the teams want that type play and competition and opportunity rather than less of it. You want to play against somebody else. I don’t know why you wouldn’t schedule a few extra scrimmage days. But, you should talk to the experts about that. That’s not really my . . . we just play by the rules."