By Rich Levine
I realize how important these imaginary bets are everyweek, but every once in a long, long while, something will come aboutthat takes precedence. CelticsHeat: Round 2 is one of those rareevents.
So enjoy an abridged version of this week's NFL Picks, and pay no attention to last weeks record.
The Game: Baltimore at Atlanta (-1)
Thetwo teams aren't on the same level, but Roddy White is to the 2010Falcons, what Randy moss was to the 2007 Pats. Once Roddy officiallydecided to give it a go, I officially put my money on Atlanta.
The Pick: Falcons (-1)
The Game: Minnesota (-1.5) at Chicago
Ifeven one of your players tells reporters from another city that hehates his coach, then youve got a problem. If six do it? Well, you'vegot Brad Childress. Don't get me wrong; the Bears are a bad team. ButMinnesota isn't even a team anymore. It's a mutiny.
The Pick: Bears (1.5)
The Game: Cincinnati at Indianapolis (-7)
Bythe end of the season, Peyton Manning may be playing alongside a teamof third-stringers and practice-squad legends . . . and he'dstill be able to beat a team like the Bengals.
The Pick: Colts (-7)
The Game: Tennessee (-2) at Miami
Welcomeback, Randy! God, I've missed being able to gamble against whateverteam's crazy enough to open itself up to your terror. Seriously,thanks buddy. Look forward to having a lucrative final six weekstogether. Straight cash!
The Pick: Dolphins (2)
The Game: N.Y. Jets (-3) at Cleveland
IfCleveland pulls this one out and makes it three straight wins -- againstthe Saints, Pats and Jets -- dont we have to consider the Browns alegitimately dangerous and talented and maybe, playoff-bound team?
The worlds not ready for that.
The Pick: Jets (-3)
The Game: Houston at Jacksonville (-1.5)
It's official. The Texans have the worst defense in the NFL. And it's not even close.
The Pick: Jaguars (-1.5)
The Game: Carolina at Tampa Bay (-6.5)
The Team of the Millenium isn't even favored by a touchdown at home against Jimmy Clausen's Panthers? Show me the fake money!
The Pick: Bucs (-6.5)
The Game: Detroit at Buffalo (-3)
OK,Lions fans. I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?OK, well the bad news is that you just lost Matthew Stafford, again,for the season.
The good news? Just kidding. Theres not any. You're underdogs in a game against the 0-8 Bills.
The Pick: Bills (-3)
The Game: Kansas City (-1) at Denver
Man,Vegas is really testing my allegiance to the Chiefs. Honestly, if itwere any other average team going into Denver as one-point favoritesI'd jump on the Broncos faster than you can say "Fire McDaniels!" Butas you know, I'm just a huge sucker for KC.
The Pick: Chiefs (-1)
The Game: Seattle at Arizona (-3)
It'sa disgrace that these two bogus teams are still fighting for a divisiontitle. It's even more a disgrace that I have to put my faith in one ofthese teams to win this. Eh, whatever. I'll go with the home team.
The Pick: Cardinals (-3)
The Game: Dallas at N.Y. Giants (-14)
"Win one for Garrett!"
OK, how about: "Lose by less than two touchdowns for Garrett!"
The Pick: Cowboys (14)
The Game: St. Louis at San Francisco (-6)
Idon't care if they're playing the Marshfield High School Rams, the49ers should never be favored by this much. There should be anautomatic six-point penalty for "Coach's Insanity."
The Pick: Rams
The Game: New England at Pittsburgh (-4.5)
This games decided by a field goal, either way. Remembers Shayne Graham is now the kicker, searches frantically for Klonopin.
The Pick: Patriots (4.5)
The Game: Philadelphia (-3) at Washington
MikeShanahan says Donovan McNabb's not in good enough shape to run thetwo-minute drill. I say Andy Reid's not in good enough shape to callplays in a two-minute drill.
The Pick: Redskins (3)
Last Week: 4-8-1&8232;