By Jon Fucile
Ndamukong Suh has been getting a lot of heat this preseason. He has dished out a couple of questionable hits to quarterbacks and decided it was a good idea to throw a punch at Logan Mankins while Mankins was engaged with another Lions player and didnt see Suh coming.
Yet somehow the man still claims hes not dirty at all ever. How could his make this claim you ask? Because his mommy says so.
"I'll consider myself a dirty player when my mom calls me a dirty player," Suh said Monday, according to The Associated Press.
We wonder if his mommy approves of him throwing blind side punches at another player then running away. He claims he was just defending a teammate but his teammate seemed perfectly capable of defending himself. Jumping into a confrontation from the blindside is pretty dirty, you fool.
When asked why he did it Suh simply responded that his mommy told him to and he has to do everything his mommy says.
Mothers are often more blind than Stevie Wonder. No matter how ugly their kid is they swear it is the most beautiful thing theyve ever seen. No matter how many times their kid gets their head stuck in the railing on the stairs they will swear their kid is not an idiot.
Your mommy isnt going to call you dirty, Suh, because shes probably like most moms and is blind to your various imperfections. Plus, you know, you are probably pampering her with your millions and she doesnt want to offend the cash cow.
Actually, Suh probably still breast feeds when he goes to visit his precious mommy.
Whats next Suh, are you going to go to a local school yard and bully small children to make yourself feel like a man?
Maybe you could push an old guy off his bike and then use your fatness to crush him while hes down, seeing as how that seems to be your calling card.
Suh probably ate neighborhood pets as a child while his mommy made excuses that he was simply playing and was misunderstood.
But, hey, you keep being excited and bragging about your meaningless preseason win and being a dirty little idiot while you and the rest of the Detroit Lions continue to hang out in the NFLs basement. Your mommy can hold you and tell you everything is going to be alright while she tucks you in and reads you a bed time story.