Mutai is the man -- sort of

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Mutai is the man -- sort of

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Let's say you're Geoffrey Mutai. You're from Kenya.

You really like running. Mostly because you're really good at it. It's also cool that your friends all run, too.

Since 2008, you've been asserting runner dominance all over the world. You've won three marathons, one half marathon, and have been on a winning senior race team. Wikipedia also tells us that you were third-place finisher at the Rotterdam Marathon in the Netherlands. Not bad.

But you wanted Boston.

You practiced in Kenya -- nothing crazy, just 130 miles a week. Still, you worried.

Boston is not so easy as other marathons, you told the Boston Herald on Saturday. I wont push the pace, but I will try my best. The weather is not so bad, you said. Its the wind that is always the trouble.

Big, big trouble.

You win the Boston Marathon in 2 hours, 3 minutes, 2 seconds. Your time is the fastest anyone has ever run the 26.2 mile distance. Ever. And it's a pretty big deal because there are, like, a lot of hills and stuff. The people in charge consider calling it the Mutai Marathon because you own it.

So you've got that weird wreath thing on your head, you're giving the thumbs-up to all the photogsand mulling over your general awesomeness...

...when some weenie in windpants from "track's international governing body" walks over to you. He leans in close, poking himself in the face on your wreath thingy.

"Um, Mutai? It doesn't count."

"What?" you say. You're still smiling. You're just so awesome.

"Your time. It doesn't count as a record," he says. He won't look you in the eye.

"But, why?"

The question makes sense. I mean, you just busted your ass for 26.2 miles. Seriously. You literally just finished running 26.2 freaking miles. People complain when they have to drive 26.2 miles to visit an aunt. Running all that way was kinda fun, but it was mostly work and your nipples are chafed.

You are Mutai. You want that record.

"Yeah, um, it was really windy today. And the course is downhill in parts" he trails off. You imagine ripping off his face. Making him run 26.2 miles in those windpants would probably hurt more. "So, yeah," he continues. "You still won and everything. It's justthe tailwind. Yeah."

Hey! Go run a marathon! Your reward for being the best is a karate chop to the throat by "track's international governing body." Mutai (you) looked happy to win, but getting a record DQ'd because of something you can't control? Gross.

Granted, I know absolutely nothing about running (except that it's evil), windpants, or Geoffrey Mutai. Maybe he likes breaking records and having them discounted.

But I doubt that.

Turner jokes that Celtics will retire his number

Turner jokes that Celtics will retire his number

It’s not the craziest thing someone has said on Twitter, but Evan Turner tweeted Monday that the Celtics should retire his number. 

It was a joke, of course, as the former Celtic was reacting to news that Isaiah Thomas had said he liked the No. 11 and would change his jersey number if so many people in Boston hadn’t already purchased his No. 4 jersey. 

After Turner joked that No. 11 was going to be retired, Thomas joked back that he would wear No. 11 as a tribute to the current Trail Blazer. 

Prior to being traded to Boston, Thomas wore No. 22 for Sacramento and No. 3 for Phoenix. 

Curran: McDaniels staying with Pats shouldn't be a shocker

Curran: McDaniels staying with Pats shouldn't be a shocker

For weeks the speculation regarding Josh McDaniels wasn't a matter of "if" but "when."

But while national media had McDaniels signed, sealed and delivered to multiple landing spots, the proposition that he'd leave at all was never a likelihood. 

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The Rams weren't attractive to him from the outset. Jacksonville didn't excite him, either. And on Monday, he passed on the 49ers opportunity. 

The lure of a blank slate in San Fran at quarterback and GM didn't outpace the uncertainty of going cross-country to work for a seemingly dysfunctional franchise that's cycled rapidly through coaches and has an unrealistic sense that it's a long, long way removed from its glory days, the only remnant remaining from that being perhaps the logo on the helmet. 

With four kids and a job McDaniels considers one of the 10 best on coaching -- head man or no -- he will stay on as the Patriots' offensive coordinator.

"I was really impressed with (Niners owner) Jed York and (team executive) Paraag Marathe . . . and the people that came from the 49ers organization," McDaniels said on a conference call this morning. "They did a great job with their presentation. Humbled to be included in that process. At this time it's just best for my family and myself to remain here in New England and focus on this year's playoffs and finish out the year however it turns out."

The same faulty speculative reasoning that had McDaniels as good as gone from the Patriots will move on undeterred today and surmise that McDaniels is staying with the Patriots because he knows, or has been promised, that he'll receive the head coaching job when Bill Belichick steps aside. 

While the Kraft family certainly thinks highly of McDaniels and that could come to pass, anyone tapping their foot and checking their watch waiting for Belichick to step down is in for a long wait. He's showing no signs of wrapping it up and, while I haven't been told directly McDaniels isn't the automatic successor, he wouldn't be taking interviews at all if he were assured that. 

What will be interesting to see is whether interest remains high in him for other jobs or the perception that he's never going to leave means teams don't bother to ask. San Fran obviously had its heart set on McDaniels. Even though Nick Caserio passed on the chance to interview with the Niners for their open GM job, the team did talk to Louis Riddick about the spot. He and McDaniels have high regard for each other. 

Between McDaniels, Caserio and defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, the people closest to Belichick on the coaching flow chart all had chances to go somewhere else and all passed on the chance. It's another example of not why the Patriots are good but why they remain good. Stability.