More sorority girls write instructions for taking athletes to Formal

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More sorority girls write instructions for taking athletes to Formal

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

I read on Deadspin that some Chi Omega sorority sisters invited three UNC Tarheel ballers to spring formal. That's not the excellent part. The excellent part is that one of the girls wrote an email to the sorority chapter "with a helpful list of ways to keep from embarrassing themselves and their organization in the face of omigod basketball players."

Well. Deadspin isn't the only site with access to stuff like this. WGS was tipped off to a similar email this afternoon. This one involves SORORI-TEE-HEE and some campus athlete-celebrities. Looks like SORORI-TEE-HEE even used Chi Omega's message as a template. Scandalous!

Here's the copy WGS recovered:

From: Katie Lastname
Date: March 30, 2011 4:30:19 PM EDT
To: "The Sorority Mailing List"
Subject: sorority Tomorrow Night's Mantra: Keep Your Cool & Respect Yourself Reply-To: "The Sorority Mailing List"

Dear TEAM SORORI-TEE-HEE,

The rumors are true - I am taking Kurt Throwsfar, Henry Leaperdude, and John Fastguy with Missy Lastname and Susie Lastname for Formal -- Ya! That's a Capital 'F'! In case there haven't been any rumors about me bringing three members of the JV indoor track team -- First of all, I don't even believe it! Lol! It's just too scandalous! But, second of all, consider them spread and NOW confirmed!

I have told the boys that there is a band and a lot of fun so I expect it to be but I do not want to see celebrity shocked drunkies because they are never fun.

Please respect the following list of things that are important to me:

- Please DON'T Take a picture of them with ALCOHOL nearby or in the photo - I will be chugging my drinks right before photographs are taken when I am posing next to them. I will be doing a full photo shoot before (on the track!), during, and after (by the long jump pit!) the Formal. This is for ME and only ME, by the way.

Back to the alcohol stuff. We ALL have brilliant FUTURES so try to nip the the Life-Ruining photos in the bud. This includes any candids around Stephanie and Angel because you girls are too ugly. Lol. JK! Angel, you know you are not ugly!

We are a family, not a tabloid magazine. But if any of you who have family members who work for tabloid magazines and would pay me for the photos, let me know.

- Please DON'T Ask them if they are going to try out for VARSITY - PLEASE TELL YOUR DATES NOT TO ASK THEM THIS EITHER - Boys are just as much jock sniffers as we are tiny track shorts chasers. Just play cool...

- Please don't leave your dates to ask mine annoying questions, they are human and actually quite young in age (I heard that Henry Leaperdude is actually 14!) - no need to scare them. Track stars supposedly spook easily and I only have one tranquilizer dart left from last year's formal! They will probably take pictures but be kind. I will be posing in all the pictures. AGAIN -- I WILL BE IN EVERY PHOTO BUT YOU CANNOT BE. I will welcome all high fives. I will consider chest bumps. Don't try fist pounds -- those are stupid.

- PLEASE DO NOT Force drinks on them (they should not be drinking as they are UNDER 21!!!! and FULL OF POTENTIAL!! maybe you are in that category too...passionate and full of potential is way hotter than illegally boozy. Although, illegally boozy and incoherent can be hot. Depends on the athlete)

- Don't stare too hard at them - this is not only hazardous for your eyeballs, but makes you look like a weirdo - have fun it's a party let's not make them feel too godlike I mean after all they were lucky enough to get asked to this function!

I want these boys to see how awesome SORORI-TEE-HEE is and thus we will be rising to the top of the cool charts. I have seen the actual charts and we are in rough shape. Last week's PowerPoint presentation on Vera Bradley handbags actually dipped us below desirable levels.

They are going to "other" formals Saturday and I dont want to hear that SORORI-TEE-HEE's were too crazy and the "others" were better. No sir - SORORI-TEE-HEE will be 1 in their hearts. And maybe in their pants, too, if I'm lucky! Lol.

If not, I have a certain Plan B that will make them more agreeable (thanks Stephanie and Rachel for all your hard work! love having a pharmaceuticals and an animal science major on hand! lol!). More on that in our next meeting.

Sooo please use your manners, your swagger, and your mace -- lol oops! I mean GRACE-- to have an excellent time tomorrow night!

F and a Christmas tree and nanner-nanner-poo-poo for life!
YOUR SORORI-TEE-HEE PRESIDENT GIRL

Halftime stars, studs and duds: Rose looking like his old self

Halftime stars, studs and duds: Rose looking like his old self

BOSTON – The New York Knicks have been in a massive funk of late, something the Boston Celtics had to know which, not surprisingly, would result in them playing with a heightened level of desperation.

That desperation left the Celtics a bit exasperated at the half which ended with a 10-2 run by New York that put them ahead 63-54 at the half.

After falling behind by as many as nine points in the second quarter, the Celtics rallied to within a single point (53-52) following a basket by Isaiah Thomas.

The second quarter was all-New York afterwards.

It was just a one-possession game (Boston led 34-31) for the Celtics going into the second quarter, which was exactly where Boston didn’t want to be against a Knicks team whose bench ranks among the NBA’s highest-scoring second units recently. In their last three games, the Knicks’ bench has averaged 43.0 points per game which according to hoopsstats.com, ranks sixth in the NBA during that span.

At the half, they had 33 points compared to just 12 for Boston’s backups.

Boston fell behind early 9-5, but the Celtics rallied following a time-out with a 15-4 run capped off by a 3-pointer from Isaiah Thomas.

The Celtics’ lead peaked at nine points on separate occasions in the first, but the Knicks closed out the first with a 12-6 spurt that cut Boston’s lead to 34-31 at the end of the first.

Here are the Stars, Studs and Duds from the first half.

 

STARS

Derrick Rose

The former league MVP looked like his old self tonight instead of just old. He led the Knicks with 14 points on 7-for-11 shooting.

Isaiah Thomas

The Knicks had great success inside the paint against all the Celtics minus Thomas who did much of his dirty work offensively on drives to the basket. At the half he had 19 points on 8-for-10 shooting.

 

STUDS

Willy Hernangomez

Boston had problems rebounding the ball, and Hernangomez was the main reason why. At the half he had 10 points and six rebounds, three of which were offensive boards.

Jae Crowder

Dealing with Carmelo Anthony is enough to keep Crowder busy tonight. But he’s doing that at a high level in addition to providing a nice punch offensively with 14 points.

Mindaugas Kuzminskas

You may not know his name, but his game was pretty impressive in the first half. At the half, he had nine points.

 

DUDS

Al Horford

We’ve seen him air-ball a 3-pointer, miss a lay-up and strguggle to get any shots to go down tonight. At the half, he had three points while missing nine of his 10 shot attempts.

Avery Bradley (Achilles) will not play vs. Knicks

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Avery Bradley (Achilles) will not play vs. Knicks

BOSTON – Both New York and Boston will take to the floor tonight minus a starter courtesy of a sore Achilles injury.

For Celtics guard Avery Bradley, tonight will be the fifth time in the last six games that his right Achilles injury will keep him sidelined.

Meanwhile, New York’s Kristaps Porzingis will miss his fourth straight game with a sore left Achilles injury.

The 7-foot-3 Porzingis averages 19.4 points, 7.4 rebounds and 1.4 assists per game.

Porzingis’ absence tonight was established well before tip-off.

“I’d say I’m 90 percent ready; still not there yet,” Porzingis told reporters prior to the game. “But I’m getting closer … hopefully the next game or after the next game.”

As far as Bradley is concerned, he was a last-minute matter.

Celtics head coach Brad Stevens was asked about his roster earlier tonight, and indicated Tyler Zeller (sinus) and James Young (ankle) would be on the inactive list tonight with injuries.

Without Bradley, the Celtics are expected to start Marcus Smart who has filled in as the team’s starter previously when the 6-foot-2 Bradley was unavailable.

 Bradley is the Celtics' second-leading scorer with 17.7 points per game this season, along with a team-high 6.9 rebounds per game and 2.4 assists.