By Justin Aucoin
If nothing else can be said of this years team, the New England Patriots have become experts at fabricatingcontroversiesout of absolutely nothing. Really, for a team that only wants to talk about the next big game, they do an awful good job at breathing air into the fire of some fun but minor stories, all while making a big deal out of thin air.
Theyre like wizards of controversy.
Tom Bradys Get lubed comment a few weeks back. Back when he was trying out his heel persona for a few weeks:
"Yeah, start drinking early. Get nice and rowdy. It's a 4:15 game, a lot of time to get lubed up. Come out here, and cheer for the home team."
A fairly simple comment; he encouraged fans to do what theyre probably already decided to do anyways have a few beers and then get rowdy at the game. Most people were cool with what Tom said. If nothing else, they were surprised he actually showed an iota of a personality while at the mic. But a handful of people the ones who probably couldve actually used a drink or two to chill out got all upset.
Then the Pats released a statement to clarify what Brady meant.
"He meant 'stay hydrated, drink a lot of water. Be loud, drink responsibly.'"
Thus the controversy began. What went from a fun, rallying of the fans became an issue. Some of the very reporters who laughed at Toms jest started sharpening their knives for the carving that would ensue.
Also, we didnt know that one had to drink water responsibility. Who knew that over-hydrating is such a huge pandemic in this great nation of ours?
During the bye-week Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski tweeted a picture of him with a different tight end: porn star Bibi Jones.
OMG, look at all that skin Gronk is showing?
Pats owner Robert Krafts response:
Apparently Kraft is against attractive women wearing his teams jersey or his players from hanging with attractive women (just look at Toms wife, for instance) cause Gronk had the unpleasantness of having to apologize for his indiscretion:
"I didn't send anything to hurt the reputation of anyone on the New England Patriots or on behalf of Robert Kraft," Gronkowski said. "That's all, just a simple picture, that's all. From here on out, I'm just here to talk about thePittsburgh Steelersand the big game this weekend."
Gronks right. It was a simple picture. Fans got a laugh and metaphorically high-fived him while discussing the tweets by the water cooler. The media got a cheap story on an otherwise dull bye-week. Not to mention hes not doing anything any other 22-year-old guy wouldnt do in his position. Chicago Blackhawks Patrick Kane gets grilled for the same thing. Its insane. If Gronk should apologize for anything its for not hanging with a better known porn star or not getting video to share with the rest of the class. Really, though, apologizing for that picture is about as absurd as saying drink water responsibly.
Good thing the Pats are A students in absurd PR.
Still, were trying to figure out exactly how taking a picture of a clothed woman is hurting the reputation of the Pats organization. Maybe were getting this all wrong and Kraft wanted to see more of Bibi? Perhaps hes jealous of Gronk?
Kraft wishes he had guns like that
Lets be honest, Gronk is showing more skin than Bibi is and those two photos are probably the most clothes youll ever see Bibi wear in a picture on the Internet.
"I'm just glad I'm no longer the one that people are making fun of on my team on a daily basis," Brady said Tuesday on WEEI-AM. "Gronk has definitely pulled into the lead there.
Yea, about that Tom. This still lives on the Internet.
You're still the king, baby.