A lot has happened since Cleveland's last win


A lot has happened since Cleveland's last win

By Jon Fucile

The Cleveland Cavaliers are awful. Atrocious. Horrendous. They make the Washington Generals look good. There are college teams that look like they could beat the Cavs.

They have lost 26 games in a row. Think about how bad a team has to be to lose 26 times in a row. The WBNA has more fans than the Cavs have wins. Helen Keller knew more words than the Cavs have wins. Even the Black Eyed Peas looked better than the Cavs during their halftime performance.

On Wednesday night, they matched the 76-77 Tampa Bay Buccaneers record for sports futility. Yes, now they are in the company of orange pirates who really suck at sports.
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On the plus side, if youre looking for a quick way to make 10 just bet on the Cavs to lose every night. Safest bet youll ever make.

It has been so long since the Cavs last win that fans dont even know what winning is anymore. Their last win was December 18th. No, seriously; look it up.

So whats been going on around sports and the world since the Cavs last win?

Cleveland favorite Lebron James had more 30 point gamesthan the Cavs have wins on the season.Tim Thomas has won eleven games for the Bruins.Jonas Salk developed a polio vaccine, ridding the world of this horrible, horrible disease.

Some boring truck full of boring baseball equipment headed down to Florida and weird baseball fans got all excited for the entire lame process.

The world was devastated when Amelia Earhart never returned from her flight around the world.

Marc Sanchez was embroiled in more controversies regarding seventeen year old girls than the Cavs had wins so far in February.

The Packers have won more Super Bowls in 2011 than the Cavs have won games in 2011.

Since the Cavs last win, Patrice Bergeron, Jeff Carter, Steven Stamkos, Brad Marchand, Ryan Kesler, Michael Grabner and Johan Franzen are just some of the NHL players that have scored more goals than the Cavs have total wins on the season.

The Bruins and Montreal Canadiens had more fights in one game than the Cavs have wins on the season.

Zdeno Chara went nuts and refuses to wear anything but feety pajamas.

The Detroit Lions have just as many wins as the Cavaliers in 2011.

The phrase I have to take a dump was replaced with I have to take a Cavs.

The Cavaliers even lost a game to that dog from Air Bud.

Yes, dark times in Cleveland. At least they can look forward to... the Browns?


Big Papi's Papi was taken by surprise at retirement announcement

Big Papi's Papi was taken by surprise at retirement announcement

BOSTON - David Ortiz may be masterful in the clutch and one of the more charitable athletes in the city, but much like anyone else, Big Papi doesn’t always inform his own Papi of news right away -- even if he plans to announce it to the general public.

“He actually didn’t tell me [that he planned to announce his retirement],” Enrique Ortiz, David’s father, said through a Red Sox’ translator on Saturday before the next-to-last regular-season game. “I was in the Dominican Republic when he announced it in the states.

While Enrique would explain -- humbly -- how proud he was of his son, he’s not so sure announcing his retirement before the season was the correct move.

“If I was [in America], I would have told him not to announce his retirement,” the elder Ortiz explained, “just because there’s so many things that can happen in a season. Or you might have a change of heart after the season.

“If I were here I would have told him to stay neutral so his options were more open. So I wouldn’t have told him to retire.”

Although dad wasn’t on board with his son’s announcement, he’s done what any good parent does -- bite their tongue and let things play out.

“I haven’t told him anything about why he's retiring because I know it’s coming from him and it’s his decision,” Enrique said. “But when I look back to 2013, I remember coming here and I see him with what looks like two cats on his feet. And I’m like ‘What happened to my boy? Did he get into an accident or something?’ And what he told me was, ‘This is how you son is making this money, doing all of this stuff before a game.’ So [him retiring] is not a surprise to me.”

Avery Bradley hopes to take next step on D: Defensive Player of the Year

Avery Bradley hopes to take next step on D: Defensive Player of the Year

WALTHAM, Mass. – Prior to Friday night’s Green and White Scrimmage, Celtics coach Brad Stevens made a point of having Avery Bradley honored for being named to the NBA’s All-Defensive First Team.
It was a good feeling and an award that Bradley is extremely proud of accomplishing.
But he wants more.
First-team All-Defense is nice.
Defensive Player of the Year?
Even better.
Prior to Saturday’s practice, Bradley’s case for being in contention for such a lofty award stems from him consistently being among the better perimeter defenders in the NBA.
On most game nights, Bradley is usually assigned whichever guard is the more potent scorer.
And in that role, Bradley has been able to establish himself as one of the toughest matchups players will face from a defender, all season.

But as good as Bradley may be as an individual defender, he knows any praise or accolades for what he does has to come with the knowledge that his teammates have also elevated their play defensively, too.
“Like I said, it’s hand-in-hand with how you play as an individual and your team success,” Bradley said. “How far we can go this year, hopefully I can show and the rest of my teammates can show how good we are on defense.”
One of the reasons Bradley was able to garner enough votes to be named to the league’s First-team defense, is due to the ringing endorsements he received from various players throughout the league.
Two of Bradley’s biggest supporters are Portland’s explosive backcourt tandem of Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum.

After Boston’s 116-109 loss at Portland on March 31, McCollum tweeted out that Avery Bradley was “the best perimeter defender in the league” and added, “I don’t think it’s close.”
In Boston’s loss to Portland, Lillard had 14 points on 3-for-16 shooting while McCollum had 17 points on 8-for-19 shooting.
“Hopefully the entire NBA can believe that I’m one of the best defenders,” Bradley said.