Lawrence Taylor: Registered sex offender

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Lawrence Taylor: Registered sex offender

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

Do you remember that episode of South Park where Johnny Cochran used the Chewbaca Defense in court?

The thought of that actually happening in real life is so ridiculous that it makes the scene that much funnier. No one would ever say something that ridiculous in real life. Well, almost no one.

Soon to be registered sex offender Lawrence Taylor had an interview with Fox discussing his recently settled trial where he was busted for soliciting an underage prostitute and received six years probation. Hes probably singing this song right now.

Like most professional athletes he deflected the blame away from himself and instead said the problem is prostitution itself.

"I'm not the cause of prostitution. And sometimes I make mistakes and I may go out there, but I didn't pick her up at no playground. Taylor told Fox.

"It's the world of prostitution," he said to Fox. "You never know what you're gonna get. Is it gonna be a pretty girl, an ugly girl or whatever it's gonna be."

Yup, you saw it. Digging up old and worn out Forrest Gump jokes for this guy.

Taylor claims the girl told him she was 19. Oh really? Well, free pass then buddy! High five!

"You can only ask," Taylor told Fox. "I don't card them. I don't ask for birth certificate."

Maybe you should. You couldnt tell by looking at her that she may be a bit young Lawrence? She was reportedly just sixteen at the time. Sixteen year old girls, in general, tend to look really young.

Mr. Taylor probably shouldve known trouble was afoot when he called to set up a meeting with the prostitute and the person on the other end said Well send her over as soon as she finishes her third period French test!

As least Lawrence put a little romance into the conversation when he talked to Fox.

"I'm not looking for a relationship. Hey, sometimes I look for some company. It's all clean. I don't have to worry about your feelings. It's all clean. I'm not saying it's right. It's the oldest profession in the world."

Oh. Well, when you put it that way it just sounds normal. Apparently order a prostitute is just as easy as ordering a pizza when it comes to Lawrence Taylor.

Taylor seemed more upset that the got caught rather than the fact that he ordered a prostitute, one that was underage. He played the woe is me card and said things like this just happen and that now he has to answer to his wife. Here is an easy solution for you in the future Lawrence.just dont solicit prostitutes! When you get that urge, go play Xbox or something.

If youre a professional athlete and youre hooking up with prostitutes youre extra dumb. Youre famous. You have tons of money. You think no one is going to ever find out? Come on.

I guess Lawrences gig as a high school bus driver is off now?

Yeah, probably.

Blackhawks edge past Bruins with late goal in 1-0 win

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Blackhawks edge past Bruins with late goal in 1-0 win

BOSTON -- Anybody looking for an emotional, high-energy response from the Bruins after back-to-back putrid losses to the Islanders and Red Wings didn’t get it on Friday night against the Chicago Blackhawks at TD Garden.

Instead the Bruins had plenty of shots with zero goals to show for it, and then gave up a goal to Marian Hossa on a nifty tic-tac-toe passing play to give the Blackhawks a 1-0 regulation win over the Black and Gold. It was the third straight loss for a Bruins team that continues to sink down in the playoff picture at a time of years when the results are the only thing that matters.

The defeat could also very well cost B’s head coach Claude Julien his job as a lifeless Bruins organization looks for any way to get out of the mud they’ve been stuck in for the last six weeks.

The Bruins and Blackhawks couldn’t crack the scoreboard for the first 50 minutes in regulation, and the genuine scoring chances were few and far between for both sides.

Tim Schaller and Patrice Bergeron had scoring chances down low in the first period, and Joe Morrow had a breakaway turned away by Blackhawks backup goalie Scott Darling early in the proceedings. But the scoring chances and sustained attack really began to dry up in the second period, and it became a series of one-and-done shots on net for both sides.

As one would expect both goalies were stellar with Darling putting together a 16-save performance in the first period, and Tuukka Rask turning away several Blackhawks chances including an Artem Anisimov wrist shot off the rush with just a couple of minutes to go in the third period. Rask finished with 21 saves, and Darling finished with 30 saves in a big win for the Chicago backup netminder.