By Jon Fucile
The Miami Heat are like teenagers. Whiny, whiny teenagers. They act like theyre the best thing ever, act cocky, get out of line and then cry about how the whole world is against them when people try to set them straight. Oh how fast things can change.
Here is the Big Three, as they call themselves, before the season:
And here is the Weepy Three now:
They might as well go start an emo band with all that crying. 'Boo hoo, everyone hates us boo hoo!'
You guys ever stop to think it is because youre a bunch of pretentious idiots who have done zip, zero, nothing, nada to justify the way you carry yourselves? Grow up.
Former Heat coach and current Orlando coach Stan Van Gundy put it best when he was talking to reporters:
"I do chuckle a little bit when they complain about the scrutiny they get," Van Gundy told reporters. "My suggestion would be if you don't want the scrutiny, you don't hold a championship celebration before you've even practiced together. It's hard to go out yourself and invite that kind of crowd and celebration and attention, and then when things aren't going well, sort of bemoan the fact that you're getting that attention."
But-but-but . . . people are being super mean and negative and all the Heat have done is act like champions and jerks all season! This is unfair!!!! :( :( :(
LeBron James has even resorted to expressing his feelings through the majesty of song! That is how much you people are making him cry!
On the plus side, the Heat are now getting all kinds of new endorsement offers and movie offers. Pampers. Gerber.
If they were on Tom Hanks team they would get a stern talking to. Tom Hanks doesnt put up with this crap.
When anyone talks to the Heat players about how everyone hates them, they claim bias or disrespect. No, that isnt it at all. It is because Miami has assembled perhaps the greatest group of insecure, egomaniacal, whining, crying, idiots who blame everyone but themselves.
I guess it is not their fault they dont play as a team or that they dont have chemistry or that they are unwilling to put their egos aside and just win. That is all the media and fans fault. Shame on all of you!
After practice every day, LeBron goes all Ace Ventura and cries in the shower and it is all your fault you insensitive, mean spirited clowns!
Hey James, Wade and that other guy . . . what is his name? The one no one knows or cares about? Oh right, Bosh! Go take a long hard look in the mirror and realize you guys are not the greatest players in history or the greatest team in history.
At their preseason championship party, LeBron talked about how they were going to win 100 titles in a row. I guess they forgot about all that hard work and team work stuff. Too bad, so sad.
Maybe for five seconds, just spend less time whining to the media and crying after games because you lack the capability to come through in big games and oh, I dont know, play better?!
The Miami Heat make emo kids look like the toughest guys on the planet. Just shut up already because no one feels sorry for you and if you expect people to feel sorry for you, well youre just 1000 times dumber than we thought.