By Mary Paoletti
The Diamond Hoggers blog attempted to do an interview with former MLB catcher Ron Karkovice. Despite DH's best efforts to give fans an insightful look into the guy's mediocre career, Karkovice was a total jerk.
Need an illustration? When I searched "Ron Karkovice" on apimages.com, this photo came up:
Take that however you'd like.
Anyway, we felt badly for the Diamond Hoggers and so decided to fill in Karkovice's answers a little bit. It was a wrong that needed to be made right.
The questions are DH's inquiries, completely untouched. Original Ron Karkovice answers are in red. Our non-idiot stuff is in black.
DH: Who was your best friend in baseball or did you have a teammate that you enjoyed playing with most?
RK: Alex Fernandez was probably my dearest friend in baseball -- hell of a guy. Did you know that he's now the director of baseball operations at Archbishop McCarthy High School in Southwest Ranches, Florida. Whitney Houston was so right: "I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way."
DH: What was it like playing with Frank Thomas?
RK: It was great to watch Frank Thomas hit every day. He had such tremendous power. But the guy is actually a great big Teddy Bear. You should hear some of the pranks he played in the clubhouse. That rascal!
DH: Who was the toughest big league pitcher you ever faced and what made it so tough?
RK: The toughest pitcher I ever faced was Dave Stieb, hands down. Stieb's stuff was so good, I could not pick up the ball. He made me want to be a better hitter. I owe him a lot. That 20 home run season? Stieb motivated me. Falling off -- way, way off -- was kind of a bummer.
DH: Do you still follow the Sox or watch a lot of baseball? Whos your pick for the World Series this season?
RK: Yes, I do still watch the White Sox when I can. That old nostalgia always seems to creep in when the weather gets warmer. Smiles I'll be interested to see how they do against the Yankees. Everybody thinks New York will win. Do they have a tough team? Every season. Are they champions this season? I don't think so.
DH: Do you have any good Carlton Fisk or Tom Seaver stories? both former teammates of yours?
RK: You know, it's funny, but even though Fisk was such a character, I don't have any stories about my former teammate. Isn't that weird? And, no, nothing about Tom Seaver either. I know that it's bizarre -- seemingly impossible, even. Oh, well! Laughs
DH: You played your whole career in the Windy City, what did you like most about Chicago?RK: I consider myself so lucky to have spent my entire career in Chicago. The city is amazing, really, with all the restaurants, shops and culture. Have you ever been to the Museum of Science and Industry? Phenomenal. And the fans, of course, are a huge reason why I enjoyed my time there so much.
DH: What was your favorite road city to play in?RK: I know it's not a city, but back when the Angels were "The California" Angels, I loved playing out there. The Pacific ocean is incomprehensibly beautiful. Makes you believe that God exists, you know?
DH: Would you vote for Roger Clemens to get in the Hall of Fame?RK: Wow. That's a tough question; I would have to think about that. The things Roger accomplished are amazing, but the steroids issue makes this decision more like a battle. It's truly sad what the controversy has done to the game of baseball.
DH: What are your interests other than baseball?RK: Call me romantic, but, it's just baseball! It's my life; I was but a willing servant to the sport. Sometimes when I think about how lucky I was to play ball for a living... well.... I get a little emotional.
DH: What is the thing you miss most about being a big leaguer?RK: Well, can I say 'everything?' Chuckles ruefully That's probably too simple of an answer. I'd have to say that I miss the camaraderie the most. My team mats coughs, clears throat-- pardon me, teammates -- were my brothers; I miss them terribly. You can never understand the bond of a baseball team unless you're blessed enough to live it.