How do you say "Randy Moss traded" in Czech?


How do you say "Randy Moss traded" in Czech?

By Mary Paoletti

What the hell?

I leave the country for six days and the NFL blows up: the Rams committed suicide by Mark Clayton's hand (leg), another one bit the dust in Green Bay, and Brett Favre just...I can't even...whatever.

Then there was Moss.

I found out via email. Imagine my shock when, browsing my inbox from the Czech Republic, this Patriots bombshell landed on my head:

"Randy Moss traded because he told Tom Brady his haircut made him look like a girl."

I flailed a little. Randy and Tommy had a coiffure confrontation? It was reported by Charley Casserly as a serious news story so it had to be true. But, for Moss to leave because of it? It was though everything I knew about the Patriots was turned on its unkempt head.

And I was helpless -- off the NFL beat and in Prague with the Boston Bruins. I wasn't just outside of the loop, I couldn't even see the loop.

Getting filled in on the details has been a nightmare. This is the chronology I've got:

Famous Boston fan, Bill Simmons, heard about the hair fight and misinterpreted the whole thing. It sounds like the Sports Guy got bad info and walked away thinking that Brady told Moss he was trying to emulate Randy's Minnesota 'fro.

Simmons then tweeted this analytical explanation-- "moss vikings" -- to his 1,265,832 followers.

People went bananas. More misinterpretations were spawned from the original story mutilation. At the end of the day it was assumed that New England TRADED Randy Moss to Minnesota.

Chaos and confusion ensued around the globe!

The Bruins were totally lost.

I understand that this is when things really escalated. The Patriots and Vikings were so embarrassed that an ESPN something-or-other caused such a firestorm that they dealt Randy for real just to feed the beast.

This is what happened, right? I mean, reporters wouldn't make up stories or lie about tweeting intentions just for the attention. Right?

It's got to be an international miscommunication. I'm confident that I"ll figure out the real story today.

Better check Sports Pickle.

South Carolina holds off UMass, 34-28


South Carolina holds off UMass, 34-28

COLUMBIA, S.C. - Freshman Jake Bentley threw for two touchdowns and 201 yards in his first college game and South Carolina matched its victory total from last year with a 34-28 victory over Massachusetts on Saturday.

South Carolina coach Will Muschamp was expecting to redshirt Bentley this season before the team's mounting offensive problems - they entered dead last in points per game in the Football Bowl Subdivision - left the first-year coach open to any solution.

Bentley proved the right answer against the Minutemen (1-7). He led the Gamecocks (3-4) to touchdowns on their first two series, and then threw a pair of pretty fade passes for TD, the first from 16 yards out to K.C. Crosby and later a 24-yarder to Bryan Edwards to lead 27-7.

When UMass cut things to 34-28 with less than 5 minutes left, Bentley accounted for 30 yards to help the Gamecocks run out the clock.

It was the first time South Carolina had scored more than 20 points in a game this season.

UMass did its share to help with three turnovers in the opening half, two which led to two South Carolina scores.

Tight end Adam Breneman had two TD catches for UMass, which fell to 0-3 against Southeastern Conference teams this fall.


UMASS: The Minutemen have been outscored 131-77 in its four games this season against teams from the Power 5 conferences.

SOUTH CAROLINA: Its future - and offensive recovery - may have started with Bentley behind center. The freshman, who'll turn 19 next month, is sure to have some bumps ahead, maybe as soon as next week's home game against No. 18 Tennessee. But there was little benefit keeping the strong-armed Bentley on the bench if he could spark up the offense this season.


UMASS: The Minutemen return home to play Football Championship Subdivision opponent Wagner. The game ends the UMass home season as it finishes with games at Troy, BYU and Hawaii.

SOUTH CAROLINA: The Gamecocks go back to the Southeastern Conference grinder against No. 18 Tennessee. The Gamecocks have only won two SEC games the past two seasons and will face a difficult challenge against the Vols, who are in the thick of the Eastern Division chase.

© 2016 by STATS & The Associated Press


UConn falls to Central Florida, 24-16


UConn falls to Central Florida, 24-16

EAST HARTFORD, Conn. -McKenzie Milton threw for a season-high 317 yards and three touchdowns to lead Central Florida to a 24-16 win over UConn.

The freshman completed 29 of 45 passes and the Knights (4-3, 2-1 American) moved over the .500 mark by scoring 17 unanswered points and holding the Huskies (3-5, 1-4) scoreless in the second half.

Arkeel Newsome ran 21 times for 101 yards and Noel Thomas had his fifth straight 100-yard receiving game for UConn, catching nine passes for 165 yards.

But Thomas dropped a pass in the end zone on a third down with just over 3 minutes remaining, and quarterback Bryant Shirreffs came up short on a fourth-down scramble.

The Huskies got the ball back near midfield with just over 2 minutes left and drove to the 21, but failed to convert a fourth-down pass.

The Knights took the lead on the first drive of the second half, when Milton hit running back Adrian Killins over the middle for a 39-yard touchdown. It was the third consecutive drive of more than 70 yards for UCF.

A career-long 50-yard field goal by Matthew Wright early in the fourth quarter pushed the lead to eight points.

UConn scored the game's first 13 points, capped by a 3-yard touchdown run from Newsome.

The Huskies final points came on a 35-yard Puyol field goal, one of three he kicked in the first half.

The lead was the first at halftime this season for the Huskies.


UCF: The Knights have apparently found their quarterback in the freshman Milton, who started again over senior Justin Holman. It was Milton's fourth start this season. His 317 yards passing were the most since Holman threw for 336 yards against Temple in 2014.

UConn: The Huskies have two offensive weapons in Newsome and Thomas and need to find a third. Shirreffs was again the team's second leading rusher with 49 yards. Alec Bloom was the team's second-leading receiver. He had two catches for 20 yards.


UCF: The Knights visit No. 11 Houston next Saturday

UConn: The Huskies travel south to face East Carolina.

© 2016 by STATS & The Associated Press