By Jon Fucile
As hockey season approaches and the Bruins get ready to defend their title, the Red Sox are doing their best to become the highest paid team to not make the playoffs since... well, the last time they did it.
The Red Sox find themselves in a bit of role reversal. The Bruins are the toast of Boston and all the Sox bandwagon fans have raided the pro shop and snapped up every Seguin and Lucic shirt they can find while the Red Sox bandwagon is about as full as a Florida Marlins game.
The Bruins winning and the Red Sox floundering isnt the only difference between the two teams and the two sports.
For example, the Red Sox are in the middle of a playoff race and the Rays are catching up to them. You would think every member of the team would be going all out to break out of their slump and get into the playoffs on a high note. Unfortunately, that isnt the case.
Hockey players, on the other hand, are a different breed. A manlier breed. Take for example the case of Mark Recchi. The setting: Game 7. The situation: KIDNEY STONES! Hockey players are brutalized in the playoffs. They take hit after hit after hit. So Recchi sat that game, right?
WRONG! Hockey 1, Baseball 0
When baseball players have an issue with each other, they usually turn to the pitcher to throw a fast ball at the opponents head at which point the benches clear, people pretend to fight while they stare each other down while failing to look tough and then throw the occasional slap. Sad.
When hockey players feel their teammates are wronged, they go right up to the offender and they certainly dont slap each other.
JUSTICE! Hockey 2, Baseball 0
Take a look at baseball managers. They wear uniforms. UNIFORMS! Why? Theyre not playing. Theyre chewing gum and making crazy hand signals. They just look silly.
Now take a look at a hockey coach. Hes patrolling the bench in a suit and tie looking classy and sophisticated. Is he a coach? Is he James Bond!? Who knows!
007! Hockey 3, Baseball 0
In baseball, if a pitcher goes all nine innings it is considered a great accomplishment. Why? Isnt that their job? Youre a pitcher! Oh boo hoo they pitch every five days! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah. Grow a pair!
Your average NHL goalie starts 50-60 games a year and each night gets hit roughly thirty times with a frozen piece of rubber going upwards of 90mph. Unless their name is Roberto Luongo, a good starting goalie is barely ever pulled. They just keep going and going and loving it the whole time because they are warriors.
WARRIOR! Hockey 4, Baseball 0
We could keep going and going, but we just watched two innings of a baseball game and were really sleepy.