Further proof that Duke is ridiculous

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Further proof that Duke is ridiculous

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Deadspin just introduced me to an absurd fan letter. It's short, so we'll go through it together. Author's words are in italics; my commentary is in bold.

Let's go:
CONTEST: How Crazie are you?By Dennis Chen and Elizabeth ChenMarch 22, 2011

We just returned from watching Dukes nail biting win over the Wolverines and we were whole-heartedly dismayed by the lack of passion exhibited by the Duke students in attendance. The Wolverine fans unarguably out-cheered the notorious Crazies from beginning to end.

ZOMG THAT'S WHY DUKE LOST THE BASKETBALL GAME! Wait, they won. So the problem is that the Duke fans lost the cheering contest. But it wasn't actually a contest, right? I'm confused.
As hard as the Duke cheerleaders and pep band tried, they werent able to get the Crazies off their butts for the first 25 to 30 minutes of the game.

But I thought Duke's fans were called the "Cameron Crazies." Don't they melt if they step outside their Gymnasium of Evil and into sunlight? Maybe I'm missing something.
There must be a hardcore contingent of "Crazies" that travel.

Anyway. They failed. Or, the cheerleaders and pep band failed, I don't know. I'm getting lost in this convoluted process. But, again, Duke did win the game so I'm not feeling the urgency here.

We know the seats at Time Warner Cable Arena are more comfortable than the shoe-worn bleachers of Cameron Indoor, but we would hope that Dukes quest for a back-to-back championship would be enough motivation to get the Duke students to cheer for every offensive and defensive series.

Okay, that makes sense.
Coach K needs to focus 100 percent of his time on his players and the game,

Right again.
and he shouldnt have to personally pump-up the crowd like he did in the second half.
Dennis and Elizabeth are on a roll now!

In an effort to take some of the burden off Coach K,
Oooh. Timeout. "Burden"? That's a strong word. I'm not comfortable putting Krzyzewski's effort to pump up the crowd on par with, I don't know, F.D.R.'s battle with polio.
we would like to sponsor the airfare and cost of admission for the most passionate Duke student to attend the rest of the Duke Mens NCAA tournament games and be a rally captain to lead the Crazies in 40 minutes of cheering to try and give our Blue Devils a home court advantage away from Cameron.

Wait...what? Do you even know how much that would cost? BRB -- need to surf the internets.
-- 11 minutes later --

Flight to Anaheim, CA departing March 23, departing March 28 (assuming Duke makes the Elite 8 and I have to come back to work on Monday): 671Five nights at Days Inn Anaheim Buena Park (Is this even near where the game is being played?): 275Ticket to Thursday's games in really crappy section: 275Ticket to Saturday's games in really crappy section: 188 (But you know that price gets jacked if Duke beats Arizona. And if Duke plays UConn in the Elite 8, multiply the price by 10)Total price of Duke making it ONLY to Elite 8: 1409Do you know how much tickets to the NCAA championship cost? YOUR SOUL. AND YOUR MOM'S SOUL, TOO.

To be considered, post a short 1-minute video to YouTube pleading your case and copy the link in the comments section of this letter on the Duke Chronicle website by noon on Wednesday. Go Duke!!
Dennis and Elizabeth Chen

There is only one thing to do with a contest like this: Sabotage.

Some diehard fan (I propose one from UConn, but UNC would be fun, too) should do her... or his... damndest to win and take the free ride.

And when Duke is down double-digits to Arizona, the hundreds of Cameron Crazies look to their brazen "rally captain" to up the obnoxiousness. It's then that said captain will rip off her... or his... Duke hoodie to reveal her true identity.

The Cameron Crazies would be completely deflated, their sense of entitlement being smacked down by treason. Of course, Duke will probably win the basketball game, but the fans would be devastated and that's clearly all that matters.

It would be glorious. It would be justice.

...It should be me.

Farrell: Sandoval could possibly Red Sox return for postseason

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Farrell: Sandoval could possibly Red Sox return for postseason

Thought to be lost for the season after shoulder surgery this past spring, Pablo Sandoval could possibly return to the Red Sox for the postseason, Red Sox manager John Farrell told reporters Saturday.

Sandoval joined the team in St. Petersburg, where the Red Sox are playing the Tampa Bay Rays. Farrell said Sandoval had played in instructional league games in Florida and was "well ahead of schedule."

He could be an option to be activated if another player is injured. 

“One of the things I put in my mind that I have to work,” Sandoval told Boston Herald. “I learned a lot of things about this surgery so I had to work hard to be on the field as soon as possible.

“There are a lot of things I’ve been doing, working out, doing things so I can get better and better everyday.”

Sandoval, 30, is in the second year of a five-year, $95 contract. He lost his starting third base job to Travis Shaw in spring training and in April an MRI revealed he needed surgery on his left (non-throwing) shoulder, which was to have ended his season.

He appeared in only three games this season and hit .245 with 10 homers and 47 RBI in 126 games in 2015. 

Saturday's Red Sox-Rays lineups: Porcello goes for 22nd, Holt at 3B

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Saturday's Red Sox-Rays lineups: Porcello goes for 22nd, Holt at 3B

Closing in on the A.L. East title, the Red Sox look to make it 10 wins in a row tonight when they play the Tampa Bay Rays in St. Petersburg.

Right hander Rick Porcello (21-4, 3.08 ERA) goes for his 22nd win for the Red Sox, opposed by Rays right-hander Matt Andriese (8-7, 4.41). Porcello is coming off a complete game victory in Baltimore.

The Red Sox began the day with a magic number of four to clinch the A.L. East with eight games to play. They could clinch a wild-card spot tonight with a victory and a Baltimore Orioles loss. 

Brock Holt starts at third base and Chris Young is in left field for Boston.

The lineups:

RED SOX
Dustin Pedroia 2B
Xander Bogaerts SS
David Ortiz DH
Mookie Betts RF
Hanley Ramirez 1B
Brock Holt 3B
Chris Young LF
Jackie Bradley Jr. CF
Sandy Leon C
---
Rick Porcello RHP 

RAYS
Logan Forsythe 2B
Kevin Kiermaier CF
Evan Longoria 3B
Brad Miller 1B
Corey Dickerson LF
Nick Franklin DH
Mikey Mahtook RF
Alexi Ramirez SS
Curt Casali C
---
Matt Andriese RHP