Further proof that Duke is ridiculous

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Further proof that Duke is ridiculous

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

Deadspin just introduced me to an absurd fan letter. It's short, so we'll go through it together. Author's words are in italics; my commentary is in bold.

Let's go:
CONTEST: How Crazie are you?By Dennis Chen and Elizabeth ChenMarch 22, 2011

We just returned from watching Dukes nail biting win over the Wolverines and we were whole-heartedly dismayed by the lack of passion exhibited by the Duke students in attendance. The Wolverine fans unarguably out-cheered the notorious Crazies from beginning to end.

ZOMG THAT'S WHY DUKE LOST THE BASKETBALL GAME! Wait, they won. So the problem is that the Duke fans lost the cheering contest. But it wasn't actually a contest, right? I'm confused.
As hard as the Duke cheerleaders and pep band tried, they werent able to get the Crazies off their butts for the first 25 to 30 minutes of the game.

But I thought Duke's fans were called the "Cameron Crazies." Don't they melt if they step outside their Gymnasium of Evil and into sunlight? Maybe I'm missing something.
There must be a hardcore contingent of "Crazies" that travel.

Anyway. They failed. Or, the cheerleaders and pep band failed, I don't know. I'm getting lost in this convoluted process. But, again, Duke did win the game so I'm not feeling the urgency here.

We know the seats at Time Warner Cable Arena are more comfortable than the shoe-worn bleachers of Cameron Indoor, but we would hope that Dukes quest for a back-to-back championship would be enough motivation to get the Duke students to cheer for every offensive and defensive series.

Okay, that makes sense.
Coach K needs to focus 100 percent of his time on his players and the game,

Right again.
and he shouldnt have to personally pump-up the crowd like he did in the second half.
Dennis and Elizabeth are on a roll now!

In an effort to take some of the burden off Coach K,
Oooh. Timeout. "Burden"? That's a strong word. I'm not comfortable putting Krzyzewski's effort to pump up the crowd on par with, I don't know, F.D.R.'s battle with polio.
we would like to sponsor the airfare and cost of admission for the most passionate Duke student to attend the rest of the Duke Mens NCAA tournament games and be a rally captain to lead the Crazies in 40 minutes of cheering to try and give our Blue Devils a home court advantage away from Cameron.

Wait...what? Do you even know how much that would cost? BRB -- need to surf the internets.
-- 11 minutes later --

Flight to Anaheim, CA departing March 23, departing March 28 (assuming Duke makes the Elite 8 and I have to come back to work on Monday): 671Five nights at Days Inn Anaheim Buena Park (Is this even near where the game is being played?): 275Ticket to Thursday's games in really crappy section: 275Ticket to Saturday's games in really crappy section: 188 (But you know that price gets jacked if Duke beats Arizona. And if Duke plays UConn in the Elite 8, multiply the price by 10)Total price of Duke making it ONLY to Elite 8: 1409Do you know how much tickets to the NCAA championship cost? YOUR SOUL. AND YOUR MOM'S SOUL, TOO.

To be considered, post a short 1-minute video to YouTube pleading your case and copy the link in the comments section of this letter on the Duke Chronicle website by noon on Wednesday. Go Duke!!
Dennis and Elizabeth Chen

There is only one thing to do with a contest like this: Sabotage.

Some diehard fan (I propose one from UConn, but UNC would be fun, too) should do her... or his... damndest to win and take the free ride.

And when Duke is down double-digits to Arizona, the hundreds of Cameron Crazies look to their brazen "rally captain" to up the obnoxiousness. It's then that said captain will rip off her... or his... Duke hoodie to reveal her true identity.

The Cameron Crazies would be completely deflated, their sense of entitlement being smacked down by treason. Of course, Duke will probably win the basketball game, but the fans would be devastated and that's clearly all that matters.

It would be glorious. It would be justice.

...It should be me.

Wright-Phillips scores 16th goal, Red Bulls beat Revs 1-0

Wright-Phillips scores 16th goal, Red Bulls beat Revs 1-0

HARRISON, N.J. - Bradley Wright-Phillips scored his 16th goal of the season in the 55th minute and the New York Red Bulls beat the New England Revolution 1-0 on Sunday.

Revs goalkeeper Brad Knighton saved Alex Muyl's shot and Wright-Phillips put back the deflection with a half-volley into the right corner. Wright-Phillips has 61 goals in 100 career MLS games.

The Red Bulls (11-9-7) extended their undefeated streak to nine games and moved into a third-place tie in the East with the Philadelphia Union. The Revolution (6-12-9) are winless in their last six.

Has Brissett removed Patriots' need for veteran quarterback help?

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Has Brissett removed Patriots' need for veteran quarterback help?

FOXBORO – Talked to Jacoby Brissett on Sunday. His session with the media was as efficient and frills-free as his Friday night performance against the Carolina Panthers.

Brissett, the third-rounder From NC State, keeps improving. From 7-for-13 for 63 yards in the first game of the preseason to 9-for-13 for 87 yards Week 2 to a 9-for-9, 85-yard, one touchdown performance against Carolina.

He’s completed all manner of passes – inside, outside, checkdowns, tight windows – and looked preternaturally comfortable doing so.

Maybe I have a little recency bias working, but I don’t recall a drafted quarterback looking as poised and in command in his rookie preseason as Brissett has so far. Jimmy Garoppolo may have had more impressive game-by-game numbers, but Brissett oozes composure that that I don’t think Garoppolo matched.

Encircled by a media horde Sunday, Brissett was pleasant and perfunctory when asked about his performance.

“Definitely it was progress,” he said, adding that he’s, "still learning. I’m sure I’ll be learning until I leave here."

 Even though he was 9-for-9, Brissett said that watching film he could see “things you messed up on and could have done better.”

Asked for an example, Brissett talk about speed. At the line of scrimmage, going through progressions and delivering the ball, Brissett said all of it can improve.

The interesting question the Patriots face now is whether they are prepared to allow Brissett to be the lone backup to the still relatively green Garoppolo. Or does the team need an experienced backup to call on if Jimmy melts down?

Thursday night could be a telling evening for that. With Garoppolo unlikely to play a ton so the team can make sure he’s good to go for the opener, it comes down to who benefits more from reps against the Giants, Tom Brady or Brissett?

It shouldn’t be close. Brissett needs the reps.

Meanwhile, we made mention of Brissett’s relationship with Hall of Fame coach Bill Parcells after he was drafted and I figured revisiting that on Sunday wouldn’t hurt.

Brissett said he’s circled up with Parcells “here and there” but smiled knowingly and said, “He’s not the head coach here so you kinda need to listen to what your coach here is saying.”

Sunday's Red Sox-Royals lineups: Holt in for Pedroia at second base

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Sunday's Red Sox-Royals lineups: Holt in for Pedroia at second base

The Boston Red Sox close out their three-game series against the Kansas City Royals without second baseman Dustin Pedroia. 

Brock Holt will be at second base for Pedroia who will miss the game, reportedly attending to a family matter.

Eduardo Rodriguez (2-5, 5.11 ERA) will be on the mound for the Sox, facing off against Yordano Ventura (9-9, 4.27 ERA).

The lineups:

ROYALS
Paulo Orlando CF
Cheslor Cuthbert 3B
Lorenzo Cain RF
Eric Hosmer 1B
Kendrys Morales DH
Salvador Perez C
Alex Gordon LF
Alcides Escobar SS
Raul Mondesi 2B
---
Yordano Ventura RHP

RED SOX
Brock Holt 2B
Xander Bogaerts SS
David Ortiz DH
Mookie Betts RF
Hanley Ramirez 1B
Travis Shaw 3B
Chris Young LF
Sandy Leon C
Jackie Bradley Jr. CF
---
Eduardo Rodriguez LHP