Florida Gators sex question weird AND nonsensical


Florida Gators sex question weird AND nonsensical

By Mary Paoletti

Florida ended BYU's We're-Not-Actually-A-Cinderella run last night with an 83-74 overtime win. When rooting around for post-game stuff, I found a pre-game piece from the Orlando Sentinel. The story included this:

"Sweet 16 question of the day: How many players would the Florida Gators, BYU's opponent tonight, have eligible if UF forbade sexual relations?"

Interesting. Interesting in a way that makes no sense.

Here's why.

Kids who go to BYU know about the whole 'Mormons and no premarital sex' thing.
Kids who go to Florida know that there is no 'Mormons and no premarital sex' thing.

Kids who have sex before marriage at Florida might fear their Mamas' shame, venereal disease and other stuff, but they don't have to worry about appearing before an Honor Code Office.
Kids at BYU who have sex before marriage at BYU have to fear their Mamas' shame, STDs, and institutional discipline.

If the Gators also weren't allowed to get horizontal, they 'wouldn't' just like the BYU kids 'don't.' So the number of eligible players would be, in theory, the same as BYU's number: All but one.

But the Gators ARE allowed to get horizontal.

Let's assume, for the sake of reality, that all of them then do. If the team suddenly had the BYU Honor Code slapped on them for the Sweet 16, zero would be eligible.

BUT they went in to the Sweet 16 not knowing about the brand new eligibility rule, so there was no reason NOT to get horizontal and therefore the eligibility standards wouldn't be valid.

See what I mean? BYU players have a practical reason to not get busy. Gators -- beyond moral crisis (lolz) --do not. You cannot compare the two.

Since there's no logical way to make sense of it the question that was essentially asked at the press conference was, "How many of your players, Billy Donovan, are currently hitting the business?"

And that's just weird. As well as nobody's business.

Donovan handled it well. He did have other options, though.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently making whoopie?
Donovan: Im not entertaining nor addressing nobodies.
Reporter: My name is Mike. Can you clarify your comment?
Donovan: Winks Next question.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently taking rolls in the hay?
Donovan: I already answered that.
Reporter: What? No you didn't.
Donovan: I said already answered that. Shut up or I'll punch you in your face.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently knocking boots?
Donovan: I don't know, but if any do it's just a bad mistake. Just a bad mistake.
Reporter: A bad mistake in the decision or a bad mistake in execution?
Donovan: It was a bad mistake. I just said that.

Reporter: How many players on your roster are currently bumping uglies?
Donovan: Thinks hard Fourteen. No, wait, thirteen. Maybe it is fourteen....
Reporter: Can you give names?
Donovan: Ask your Mama.
Reporter: What?!
Donovan: Get outta' here, you weirdo.

O'Gara sent to Providence, but could return any time


O'Gara sent to Providence, but could return any time

BOSTON – The writing was on the wall once Rob O’Gara was scratched in the last couple of games, and he was finally sent down to Providence on Tuesday. The move was made to clear room for Adam McQuaid to rejoin the B’s lineup, and help the Bruins continue improving from their 15th rank among team defenses in the NHL this season.

The 23-year-old O’Gara was a plus-1 rating in three games to start the season, and played very well in 16:01 of ice time while winning physical battles, adequately moving the puck and generally showing that he’s got a future in the NHL. With veteran defenders returning and little margin for error on a B’s back end already featuring 19-year-old Brandon Carlo, it was too much to attempt carrying two rookies on an NHL defensemen corps for a long stretch of time.

So now O’Gara will go to Providence where he’ll play bigger minutes, play in all situations and stay ready for the next time Boston needs him.

“He’s good. I think he makes good passes when he has time. I think we want him to work on maybe being under pressure, and being a little stronger on his feet and being able to make better plays,” said Claude Julien. “But he’s really close. When I say he’s real close I think you could see him back here at any time. I have no issues with Rob O’Gara.

“I think as a young player he has to play, so when we can play [him again] I have no issues with him in our lineup. If he doesn’t get [the playing time] here then we’ve got to get it for him somewhere else.”

While O’Gara is going to Providence for some more AHL development at this point in time, there’s a tacit acknowledgement from the Bruins that the big, hard-working defenseman is definitely going to be a valued part of their future.

Patriots reportedly deal Derby to Broncos for fifth-round pick


Patriots reportedly deal Derby to Broncos for fifth-round pick

The Patriots pulled off a rare deal with a rival on Tuesday. 

According to ESPN, they've sent tight end A.J. Derby to the Broncos in exchange for a fifth-round pick. 

Derby played in 33 offensive snaps over four games this season for the Patriots. A sixth-round draft choice in 2015 out of Arkansas, Derby spent most of his rookie season on injured reserve. 

One of the stars of the preseason for the Patriots, Derby caught 15 passes for 189 yards in four exhibition games. A former college quarterback for Iowa and Arkansas, Derby was named a practice player of the week by the Patriots when they were hurting for healthy signal-callers early in the season during Tom Brady's suspension.

The deal leaves the Patriots somewhat thin at the tight end position. They now have now true tight ends behind Rob Gronkowski and Martellus Bennett. They do, however, have fullback James Develin, who meets with tight ends on a daily basis. On the practice squad, the Patriots have another fullback in Glenn Gronkowski. 

In Denver, Derby will compete with tight ends Virgil Green, Jeff Heuerman and John Phillips for time.