A flip-flopped Ryan and Belichick presser

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A flip-flopped Ryan and Belichick presser

By Mary Paoletti
CSNNE.com

No Bill Belichick press conference at Gillette today.

It's not really weird that the schedule got screwed up, what with Week 13's game being on Monday and all. But this is PatriotsJets week. We need to feed an especially hungry beast.

Because of how huge a game this is for both 9-2 teams, WGS is holding a special press conference to make up for this afternoon will lack. Coaches Belichick and Ryan have agreed to answer our questions a little differently though. They're going to swap roles in the style of Tanguay and Felger's "FACEOFF."

WGS QUESTION: Coach "Belichick", how would you say the Jets look going into Monday night's game?

RYAN as BELICHICK: They're a real good team. Have been since we first saw them. Good in all phases of the game. The Jets can run, throw, kick and play defense.

(Hey! How'm I doin? Do I sound like Bill or what? This is harder than I thought! Having no personality is a expletive art! Holy expletive!)

WGS: Doing great.

WGS QUESTION to BELICHICK as RYAN:
How about you, coach? How different are the Patriots since you last played them?

BELICHICK as RYAN: I don't get this. You want me to pretend I'm Rex Ryan? I'm trying to prepare my team for a football game. If I say I'm hungry will you guys back off?

WGS: C'mon, Bill. Play along.

BELICHICK: What'd you say to me?

WGS: Covers head ...please?

RYAN: Yeah, Bill! Play along! Tell 'em you just want to kick some Patriots ass! 'Cause that's what my boys are gonna do: kick ass! With all due respect to you Bill, a'course. Guffaws

WGS QUESTION: Can you talk a little bit about what getting Danny Woodhead from the Jets has done for your team?

RYAN as BELICHICK: Well we had our eye on him since he was in college...

Guffaws again Oh, Lord, I can't get that expletive out with a straight face! I don't know how you do it, Bill. Lemme try again. Sobers up.

Danny's done a really good job learning our offense. He's helped us in the running game, passing game and on special teams. He is in no way one of the most divine accidental signings we've ever made. Winks at Belichick

I'm just teasin', Bill! That last bit was a expletive joke, buddy!

WGS QUESTION: The Patriots are 9-2 despite a defense ranked at the bottom of the league in a few categories. What has been key to their success and how do you game plan for it?

BELICHICK as RYAN: Bill Belichick is the best coach in the NFL but my guys are going to win the Super Bowl. New England looks unstoppable sometimes but my team will stop them. We have the same record but the Jets have beaten the Patriots. Mark Sanchez sucks but he has my full confidence. I want a snack. Swear word, swear word, swear word.

There. I did it. I'm taking off this ridiculous vest now. Walks out

RYAN: Yelling Hey, now. That last bit about Nacho wasn't expletive funny. I've always loved that hotdog eating son-of-a-expletive! I love him like Tony Cromartie loves all 37 of his babies.

Ask me another question, missy.

WGS QUESTION: Oookay. Sure thing, coach. Speaking of Antonio Cromartie, how do you think he and Darelle Revis will play coverage with no Moss on your team?
RYAN as BELICHICK: They'll cover whoever we put on the field. And we'll play whoever's active. We'll do whatever's best for our team. Don't ask me about Moss. Don't ask me about Fred Taylor. Don't ask me anything unless you want me to make you feel like an idiot. I'm grumpy for no particular reason. So there!

Well, that was pretty fun! But it's time for lunch. Somebody find Nacho and make him get me lunch. Can I keep this little pom-pom hat? This is pretty expletive cute!

WGS: Uh, sure. Keep the hat. Thanks for stopping by, Rex. Good luck on Monday.

RYAN: The Jets don't need luck. Luck is for sissies! Like Ben Roethlisberger. That guy is a expletive sissy. Where the hell is Nacho? NACHO!

Lionel Messi says he is quitting Argentina national team

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Lionel Messi says he is quitting Argentina national team

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. -- Lionel Messi says he is quitting Argentina's national team.

Argentina and Messi lost a final for the third year in a row, with Chile winning the Copa America 4-2 on penalty kicks following a 0-0 tie Sunday night.

His nation's career scoring leader with 55 international goals, Messi sent Argentina's first penalty kick over the crossbar.

Messi tells the Argentine network TyC Sports "the national team is over for me. It's been four finals, it's not meant for me. I tried. It was the thing I wanted the most, but I couldn't get it, so I think it's over."

Messi and Argentina lost to Brazil in the 2007 Copa final and to Germany in extra time in the 2014 World Cup final. They lost last year's Copa final to host Chile on penalty kicks.

The 29-year-old Messi has led Barcelona to four Champions League titles.

Perry's Patriots 53-man roster projection

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Perry's Patriots 53-man roster projection

With New England Patriots organized workouts finished until next month, Phil Perry puts together another 53-man roster projection.

View the gallery here