Fenway Park is a mess

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Fenway Park is a mess

By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com

Holy cow. Fenway Park is an absolute mess. Its like a frat house on Yawkey Way. National Lampoon wishes it could come up with hijinx as crazy as the 2011 Boston Red Sox.

Take, for starters, the story about some of the Sox pitchers, during their off-days, were drinking in the clubhouse. It would explain for a lot of the crappy outings.

Someone should tell the boys you need usually need to win something before you can start drinking in the locker rooms. Booze mightve helped the Sox the World Series during the Era of the Idiots, but booze helped crumble the Sox in 11. John I cant believe I have to deal with this Lackey is no Kevin Millar.

But I suppose thats what you have to expect when half your pitchers appear in a crappy country music video about loving beer.

Maybe they shouldve been listening to more Queen instead.

And who gets blamed for all this rabblerousing and partying? The babysitter, of course.

Instead of disciplining the children, Daddy Henry, Daddy Larry and Mommy Theo fired the babysitter that helped bring Boston two titles after a million years of depression and people manage all the egos and craziness in the locker room. But when Mommy and Daddy spoil the kids with outrageous allowances, clearly its the babysitters fault.

Sox Nation, obviously, is not happy with the dismissal of Francona. Unlike front offices, fans typically hold the players accountable first. You can sum up how Sox fans feel with one photoshop.

Its not your fault. Its not your fault.

Meanwhile, as Francona is updating his resume and shining his World Series rings, the Sox are letting Mommy go out and date other people.

Then you have pitchers divorcing their cancer-stricken wives because in sickness and in health is more of a guideline than an actual promise, while others are getting slapped with child support papers. You have Big Papi admitting some of his teammates were lacking in the effort department (never good to hear when the payroll is a hovering around a zillion dollars) while Carl Crawful completely peed his pants while dropping a huge deuce on the field. But its cool though because he apologized for it.

Lets not forget that Theo spied on Crawford during the offseason, so theyd know what they were getting. Apparently, Bostons private investigators suck. We didnt know Lackey moonlighted as a detective, too.

And the only reason the Soxs playoff hopes didnt die sooner was because of an AAA catcher. What a farce.

Maybe its good the Sox blew it. Perhaps it was the necessary intervention the team needed five months off and away from each other. Maybe theyll grow up and mature a bit between now and then. Probably not though; not when Mommy and Daddy keep pampering to the kids every whim.

What a mess.

Hopefully the Sox hire a new janitor. Theyre going to need it.

Quotes, notes and stars: Pomeranz 'made one pitch that hurt' Red Sox

Quotes, notes and stars: Pomeranz 'made one pitch that hurt' Red Sox

BOSTON - Quotes, notes and stars from the Red Sox' 4-2 loss to the Detroit Tigers:

QUOTES:

"He pitched as we had anticipated at the time of the trade.'' - John Farrell on Drew Pomeranz.

"I had a good curveball and I was locating my fastball a lot better. I was in a lot better counts all night, but I made one pitch that hurt us.'' - Pomeranz on his outing.

"He was able to limit the damage against a very good offensive team. He pitched well enough to win. I just wish we could have put more runs on the board for him.'' - Jackie Bradley Jr. on Pomeranz.

 

NOTES:

* Until Monday night, the Red Sox had won their last six series openers.

* Drew Pomeranz has allowed four or fewer hits in 12 of his 18 starts this season.

* Eleven of Travis Shaw's last 15 hits have been for extra bases.

* Jackie Bradley Jr. had his 25th multi-hit game.

* Sandy Leon is hitting .500 (11-for-22) with runners in scoring position.

* The Red Sox are 21-21 in games decided by two or fewer runs.

* Dustin Pedroia (walk, single) has reached base in 28 straight games.

* Xander Bogaerts has 133 hits through 97 games. Since 1940, only Wade Boggs (134 in 1983; 135 in 1987) and Adrian Gonzalez (135 in 2011) had more.

STARS:

1) Justin Verlander

Verlander has enjoyed a bounce-back season of sorts this year, and the Red Sox got to see it up close Monday night as Verlander limited them a single run over six innings.

2) Jose Iglesias

The former Red Sox shortstop haunted his old team with a two-run homer in the sixth to put the Tigers ahead to stay.

3) Drew Pomeranz

The lefty absorbed the loss, but pitched well enough to win, giving up two runs in six innings while striking out seven.