Former Bruins forward and back up goalie Michael Ryder had this day with the Stanley Cup this week and in true Ryder style, gave people plenty to complain about.
On his watch, the Cup fell off a table and was dented as the story spread quickly across the internet. Everyone immediately blamed Ryder and made various jokes about him trying to hit the net with the Cup, but missing wide. As it turns out, however, Ryder was not stupid enough to drop the Cup. Whichever idiot set up the table the Cup was to sit on apparently neglected to lock the legs of the table, causing the Cup to take a little spill.
No one has since offered an official apology to Ryder for cursing his family and making mean comments about his mother.
Seriously, this is what actually happened:
And this is what people apparently thought happened based on how they acted:
We can kind of understand why people in Canada would not check to make sure the table could hold the Stanley Cup. No Canadian team has won since 1993 so theyre certainly not used to knowing what to do with it. We put this picture together for you folks in Canada for next time:
It really is not that hard. This is what happens when you successfully lock the table:
And this is what happens when some fool forgets to lock the table:
Even though Ryder had more saves in the first round of the playoffs than Roberto Luongo had in the Finals, he apparently was unable to get to the Cup in time to make the save because of his playing style.
There is a rumor going around that no one was actually stupid enough to NOT lock the table legs, but rather the table was sabotaged by some jealous hockey player who is not good enough to get a Stanley Cup.
The only problem with this rumor is that no one from Vancouver would recognize the Cup if they saw it seeing as how the city has never won a Cup.
Ryder was blasted on the internet before the truth came out, but seriously, if youve watched hockey for any length of time you should know by now that the Cup gets a lot of bruises. Besides, worse things have happened to the Cup than some dude at Ryders party denting it.