Dropping the Cup with Mikey Ryder


Dropping the Cup with Mikey Ryder

Jon Fucile

Former Bruins forward and back up goalie Michael Ryder had this day with the Stanley Cup this week and in true Ryder style, gave people plenty to complain about.

On his watch, the Cup fell off a table and was dented as the story spread quickly across the internet. Everyone immediately blamed Ryder and made various jokes about him trying to hit the net with the Cup, but missing wide. As it turns out, however, Ryder was not stupid enough to drop the Cup. Whichever idiot set up the table the Cup was to sit on apparently neglected to lock the legs of the table, causing the Cup to take a little spill.

No one has since offered an official apology to Ryder for cursing his family and making mean comments about his mother.

Seriously, this is what actually happened:

And this is what people apparently thought happened based on how they acted:

We can kind of understand why people in Canada would not check to make sure the table could hold the Stanley Cup. No Canadian team has won since 1993 so theyre certainly not used to knowing what to do with it. We put this picture together for you folks in Canada for next time:

It really is not that hard. This is what happens when you successfully lock the table:

And this is what happens when some fool forgets to lock the table:

Even though Ryder had more saves in the first round of the playoffs than Roberto Luongo had in the Finals, he apparently was unable to get to the Cup in time to make the save because of his playing style.

There is a rumor going around that no one was actually stupid enough to NOT lock the table legs, but rather the table was sabotaged by some jealous hockey player who is not good enough to get a Stanley Cup.

The only problem with this rumor is that no one from Vancouver would recognize the Cup if they saw it seeing as how the city has never won a Cup.

Ryder was blasted on the internet before the truth came out, but seriously, if youve watched hockey for any length of time you should know by now that the Cup gets a lot of bruises. Besides, worse things have happened to the Cup than some dude at Ryders party denting it.

Turner jokes that Celtics will retire his number

Turner jokes that Celtics will retire his number

It’s not the craziest thing someone has said on Twitter, but Evan Turner tweeted Monday that the Celtics should retire his number. 

It was a joke, of course, as the former Celtic was reacting to news that Isaiah Thomas had said he liked the No. 11 and would change his jersey number if so many people in Boston hadn’t already purchased his No. 4 jersey. 

After Turner joked that No. 11 was going to be retired, Thomas joked back that he would wear No. 11 as a tribute to the current Trail Blazer. 

Prior to being traded to Boston, Thomas wore No. 22 for Sacramento and No. 3 for Phoenix. 

Curran: McDaniels staying with Pats shouldn't be a shocker

Curran: McDaniels staying with Pats shouldn't be a shocker

For weeks the speculation regarding Josh McDaniels wasn't a matter of "if" but "when."

But while national media had McDaniels signed, sealed and delivered to multiple landing spots, the proposition that he'd leave at all was never a likelihood. 


The Rams weren't attractive to him from the outset. Jacksonville didn't excite him, either. And on Monday, he passed on the 49ers opportunity. 

The lure of a blank slate in San Fran at quarterback and GM didn't outpace the uncertainty of going cross-country to work for a seemingly dysfunctional franchise that's cycled rapidly through coaches and has an unrealistic sense that it's a long, long way removed from its glory days, the only remnant remaining from that being perhaps the logo on the helmet. 

With four kids and a job McDaniels considers one of the 10 best on coaching -- head man or no -- he will stay on as the Patriots' offensive coordinator.

"I was really impressed with (Niners owner) Jed York and (team executive) Paraag Marathe . . . and the people that came from the 49ers organization," McDaniels said on a conference call this morning. "They did a great job with their presentation. Humbled to be included in that process. At this time it's just best for my family and myself to remain here in New England and focus on this year's playoffs and finish out the year however it turns out."

The same faulty speculative reasoning that had McDaniels as good as gone from the Patriots will move on undeterred today and surmise that McDaniels is staying with the Patriots because he knows, or has been promised, that he'll receive the head coaching job when Bill Belichick steps aside. 

While the Kraft family certainly thinks highly of McDaniels and that could come to pass, anyone tapping their foot and checking their watch waiting for Belichick to step down is in for a long wait. He's showing no signs of wrapping it up and, while I haven't been told directly McDaniels isn't the automatic successor, he wouldn't be taking interviews at all if he were assured that. 

What will be interesting to see is whether interest remains high in him for other jobs or the perception that he's never going to leave means teams don't bother to ask. San Fran obviously had its heart set on McDaniels. Even though Nick Caserio passed on the chance to interview with the Niners for their open GM job, the team did talk to Louis Riddick about the spot. He and McDaniels have high regard for each other. 

Between McDaniels, Caserio and defensive coordinator Matt Patricia, the people closest to Belichick on the coaching flow chart all had chances to go somewhere else and all passed on the chance. It's another example of not why the Patriots are good but why they remain good. Stability.