Chara the Montreal Menace


Chara the Montreal Menace

By Jon Fucile

Fans of the Montreal Canadiens are gifts to people like us who like to mock stupid, stupid people.

Apparently Zdeno Chara is not just a man who laid down an unfortunate hit on Max Pacioretty. He is a menace to society and he must be stopped!

Some Canadian website put together a video of Chara's hits, which were basically a compilation of clean but hard hockey hits and fights, two things that are abundant, common and perfectly legal in the sport of hockey.

The same site went on to say how Chara is a menace to society, but really this is just another case of Montreal seeing something that happened and twisting it to fit their point of few. Here are a few other examples of other stupid stories theyve printed about Chara.

This "menace" happened to be walking down the street the other day and saw a bus about to fall of a bridge. The bus had been cut off by another car and turned to the side to avoid it and found itself hanging precariously over a ledge! That is when Chara sprung into action to save the day.

But when the story was published in Montreal, it looked something like this:

Chara is always willing to lend a hand to help. On his way to Bible study, he stumbled upon an elderly lady who needed help crossing the street. Chara was happy to oblige!

Some Montreal reporter heard about the story and put his own spin on the events:

These damn canucks have no shame!

Later that same day Chara found a little girl by the side of the road crying. Her poor little kitty cat was stuck up in a tree! Chara simply told her to wait a second and he went to work.

What a guy!

That won't be the story you hear in Montreal, though. They twisted it to make it appear as though Chara loves a good kitten sandwich.


A word of warning though Montreal. You're pissing off Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson. When compared to you Montreal, those two look like the most normal, down to earth guys on the planet. Theyre coming for you.

But thanks for making sure your city, and vicariously your country, will continue to be a punch line around the rest of the world for years to come.

And also thanks for giving us an idea for a new kids show!

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