Canada hates sharing, especially athletes

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Canada hates sharing, especially athletes

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

America's Hat. That Country to the North.

Canada is known by many names to us here in America. C-eh-N-eh-D-eh. Canada. For so long they've been a punch line in jokes.

What is big, boring and cold? Canada!

What do pee and Canadian beer have in common? The taste!"

They've put up with the abuse with a smile. We think. Not sure. They all look weird. Then America started messing with Canada's biggest import and now things are getting hairy.

Yes, a few American NHL teams recently traded for players from Canadian teams and all of a sudden there are "visa problems" preventing these players from escaping moving to America to be with their new teams and drive cars to work instead of a moose.

Hockey players have long been Canada's biggest commodity and are responsible for 98 of their total income. America is trying to get a piece of that hockey pie.

Chris Kelly (Boston from Ottawa) and Kris Versteeg (Toronto to Philadelphia) were recently traded and magically had visa issues which delayed them from joining their new teams in a timely manner.

Visa issues was just another phrase for riots.

Canada hasnt seen an uproar like this since they found out Alaska was actually part of America.

Kelly and Versteeg, desperate to get out of Canada before they died of boredom or moose meat parasites, tried all sorts of ways to get out of the country while the Canadian government made up all kinds of lame excuses to keep them in Canada.

They tried to have friends smuggle them out of the country in the trunk of a car, but they were busted by border patrol.

They tried riding a moose and jumping over the border..

..but they were stopped by an angry Canadian mob.

With their visa issues still not worked out, Kelly and Versteeg tried to dress as Mounties and told some Canadian officials they were going to invade America, but Canadian cesspool Pam Anderson intercepted them and infected them. Tough luck boys.

While recovering, the traded duo had an epiphany.. Canada.. doesnt have any weapons! They can just walk home if they wanted to and Canadians really cant do anything about it, especially if they fight anything like the Montreal Canadiens.

But hey, nice try Canada. Youre so adorable. Maybe youll get us next time. Maybe.

Gronkowski takes exception to Cowboys’ ‘Do Your Job’ sign

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Gronkowski takes exception to Cowboys’ ‘Do Your Job’ sign

The Dallas Cowboys have a “Do Your Job” sign posted in their locker room and “Gronk Nation” isn’t happy about it.

Here’s an excerpt from “Gronk Nation” - the website of Rob Gronkowski and his family - about “America’s Team” co-opting the slogan of the 2014 Patriots' Super Bowl run: 

While we all know that the Pats thrashed the Cowboys 30-6 last October and Dallas hasn’t been to the Super Bowl since the 1995 season, so they need all the motivation they can get – but can’t America’s Team come up with their own slogan instead of stealing ours?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

First impressions of Red Sox’ 2-1 loss to Rays

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First impressions of Red Sox’ 2-1 loss to Rays

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- First Impressions from the Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Tampa Bay Rays at Tropicana Field:

 

* When the guy who was 0-for-34 produces the go-ahead RBI, it's probably not your day.

The Red Sox and Rays were tied 1-1 in the seventh when Steven Souza Jr. singled to lead off the inning. That brought Mikie Mahtook, hitless in his last 34 at-bats to the plate.

Naturally, Mahtook roped a line-drive double to left field, scoring Souza all the way from first base. It was that kind of day for the Red Sox, who were 0-for-2 with runners in scoring position and stranded five baserunners.

For a team that still leads the majors in runs scored, the Red Sox have shown an uncanny ability to go cold at the plate.

On Thursday afternoon, that happened again, while the most unlikely hero for Tampa Bay came through in an improbable spot.

 

* The Red Sox' struggles with the bases loaded is almost comical.

It happened again.

In the sixth inning, the Red Sox loaded the bases with no out. Mookie Betts then hit a sacrifice fly to left, scoring one run. Hanley Ramirez then walked, re-loading the bases, this time with one out.

But Jackie Bradley Jr. then swung at the first pitch and hit into an inning-ending, rally-killing 4-6-3 double play.

In two plate appearances with the bases loaded, the Sox failed to get a hit.

The Sox are hitting .216 with the bases loaded (24-for-111), ranking them 14th in the American League. Only Seattle and Detroit have had more bases-loaded opportunities, and yet the Red Sox rank in the second half in runs scored in such situations.

 

* Drew Pomeranz is showing no signs of innings fatigue

True, Pomeranz failed to provide a shutdown inning in the sixth after the Red Sox had gotten him a run in the top of the inning.

Still, Pomeranz pitched into the seventh and allowed just two runs while striking out a season-high 11 batters.

In his past five starts, he's compiled a 2.37 ERA, and both the power to his fastball and the sharpness to his curve offer no evidence that he's hit any sort of wall despite already establishing a career high at the major league level with five weeks remaining in the season.