Brady vs. Ryan: a tale of the tape

Brady vs. Ryan: a tale of the tape

By Jon Fucile
Special contributor to

Hes at it again. Oh, that zany Rex Ryan. He just cant get the Patriots out of his head. Even when hes not playing against them.

Yes, sexy Rexy just couldnt keep his mouth shut. Again. And not just at lunch. He began launching verbal assaults at the Patriots before the Jets even beat the Colts. When asked about facing Peyton Manning, Ryan needlessly took a shot at Brady and the Patriots:

"The guy is tremendous. There is no one else like this guy in the league. Nobody studies like him. I know Tom Brady thinks he does. I think there's probably a little more help from Bill Belichick with Brady than there is withPeyton Manning.

Ryans obsession with the Patriots and Brady borders on creepy. We heard a rumor that Rex Ryan paid big money to buy a set of game used Tom Brady underwear and will disappear for hours into his room with the undergarments.

It almost seems like Rex Ryan knows he cant beat Brady in a playoff situation so has to talk about it out loud to anyone who will listen in order to convince himself. Right now Rex is probably talking to Sanchez about an elaborate plan to kidnap Brady Celtic Pride style so Brady cant play Sunday.

But hey if Rex wants to challenge Brady, fine. But putting our bias aside, who would really win? Lets check the tale of the tape and find out.

Tom Brady
Three Super Bowl victories, two Super Bowl MVP awards, most career Super Bowl completions, fastest quarterback to reach 100 wins, most touchdown passes in a season, super model wife with a man face the list goes on and on and on. Like Rex Ryans stomach.

Rex Ryan
Won a Super Bowl as defensive coordinator with a Ravens team that couldve won with a monkey coaching, North American hot dog eating champion, holds record for most times stuck in a revolving door in a single year and was the inspiration for the game Hungry Hungry Hippos when a Milton Bradley employee got the idea after seeing Rex Ryan at Old Country Buffet one day.

SCORE: Brady 1, Ryan 0

Tom Brady
Brady is often described as fit and trim and has one of those butt chins that makes the ladies swoon. Rex Ry, um, some girls have even said Bradys face was chiseled by the gods themselves. Brady has been known to occasionally run laps at practice without getting winded or bend down without splitting his favorite slacks. Women have been known to get violent for a chance to get at Brady.

Rex Ryan
Ryan loves his wifes feet so much because he hasnt seen his own since 1962. People walk up to him on the street and ask him when the baby is due. At the zoo, elephants go wild and use their trunks to make whistling noises when he walks by. He gets winded while driving. Winnie the Pooh started doing his stoutness exercises when someone told him he was starting to look like Rex Ryan. Ryans physique can best be described as a combination between Orpah and Jabba the Hutt.

SCORE: Brady 2, Ryan 0


Tom Brady
Rex Ryan has accused Brady of not studying hard enough, but Bradys record pretty much speaks for itself. From his winning record to his streak of passes without an interception, Brady obviously studies opposing defenses enough to completely rip them apart.

Rex Ryan
The only thing Rex Ryan studies is the Dennys menu.

SCORE: Brady 3, Ryan 0

Tom Brady
Brady knows football. That seems to be it. Oh and models. He knows those. But he doesnt seem to have any non-football athletic accomplishments when hes not embarrassing defenses on the field. Rexy on the other hand.
Rex Ryan
Rex might have won 10 Super Bowls in a row in his head, but in reality hes actually a ten time Sumo Wrestling champion. He was recently banned from Japan because Japanese officials thought he was juicing his stomach, and said there was no way a man could be that out of shape naturally. Sorry Japan that is all Rex and your Sumo warriors simply dont compare.

SCORE: Brady 3, Ryan 1

Tom Brady
Brady might be intense and mean on the field sometimes but off the field hes a kind, gentle soul. He loves all animals, big and small. He even loves farm animals and has been known to take in sick goats and nurse them back to health. Hes one hell of a guy.

Rex Ryan
Rex is the exact opposite. His hunger knows no bounds. Not even animals are safe. Were not talking about steak or bacon. Not even cow hooves in Rexs case. Rex Ryan loves to eat poor, innocent puppies and kitties!!!

Terrible. What kind of human being would do something like this?!?!
SCORE: Brady 4, Ryan 1

We could go on and on.

The fact is Brady and the Patriots do their talking on the field, while Rex Ryan resorts to name calling and publicly calling out his opponents in a futile attempt to draw attention away from that fact that his team really isnt that good and is lucky to be where they are. He can call out every Patriot he wants. New Englands track record speaks for itself Rexy. See you Sunday.

Chicago Bulls sign former Boston Celtics guard R.J. Hunter


Chicago Bulls sign former Boston Celtics guard R.J. Hunter

Minutes before they opened their regular season Thursday against the Celtics, the Bulls announced the signing of shooting guard R.J. Hunter.

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Halftime stars, studs and duds: Chippy first half between Celtics-Bulls


Halftime stars, studs and duds: Chippy first half between Celtics-Bulls

Jimmy Butler and Jae Crowder are former teammates at Marquette. Isaiah Thomas and Rajon Rondo have tremendous respect for one another as competitors.

But in the heat of battle, friendships and respect can at times fall by the wayside which is exactly what happened in the first half between these two Eastern Conference foes.

After a chippy first half, the Bulls went into the half ahead 57-49.

The last couple of minutes in the second quarter were much closer than the halftime score would indicate.

Butler drained a 3-pointer just before the halftime buzzer sounded that nearly doubled Chicago’s halftime lead.

His shot brought a conclusion to a first half which included four technical being called on one play in which Crowder was whistled for an offensive foul.

On that play, Butler seemed to tie up Crowder’s legs with both players on the floor. Crowder then seemed to forcefully put the ball in Butler’s chest. That led to some back-and-forth smack talk between Thomas and Rondo.

All four players were whistled for technical fouls.

Chicago opened the game with an 8-2 run and led by as many as 15 points.

As the Celtics soon discovered, finding open spots on the floor against the Bulls was much, much tougher than it was 24 hours earlier against the Nets.

Chicago continued to play with control and led by double digits throughout the second quarter.

Here are the Stars, Studs and Duds from the first half of tonight’s Boston-Chicago game.



Dwyane Wade

The prodigal son looked good in his first game playing in front of lots of family and friends. He led all scorers with 14 points which included 3-for-4 from 3-point range.

Avery Bradley

The Celtics seemed to have found their stride in the second quarter with Bradley leading the charge. He led all Boston players with 12 points at the half.

Jimmy Butler

The face of the Bulls franchise got off to a slow start, but soon picked up his play at both ends of the floor in the second quarter. He had 11 points at the half along with grabbing five rebounds.



Taj Gibson

He was a problem for the Boston Celtics right from the start, providing the kind of low-post scoring the Bulls will be looking for in the second half. At the half, Gibson had eight points and six rebounds.

Rajon Rondo

The former Boston Celtic was doing what he has done well for most of his career – getting others involved. At the half Rondo had three points and a game-high six assists with four rebounds.

Isaiah Thomas

Boston needed him to be more of a scorer than a facilitator on Thursday, and Thomas was more than willing to oblige. He had 11 points on 5-for-7 shooting.



Celtics 3-point defense

The Bulls got one good look after another from 3-point range, with the Celtics showing few signs of making the necessary adjustments. The Bulls connected on 53.8 percent of their 3-pointers (7-for-13) in the first half.