Are you there, God? It's me, Tim Tebow


Are you there, God? It's me, Tim Tebow

By Jon Fucile

Tim Tebow is the talk of the NFL and pretty much the entire world. Hes apparently a super nice guy and he and Jesus hang out on Sundays to play checkers and talk about how to help the poor.

He is also a very, very mediocre quarterback who is getting 110 of the credit for a team that is being carried by an improved defense and running game. But, hey, he is super nice so who cares! Right?!

This is the story about how a very religious but awful quarterback got all the credit for a running game and defense that kept bailing him out and how he finally got his wish and came face to face with a god.

Tebow was the toast of Denver and gave the people hope that they could get to the playoffs as he kept making miraculous fourth quarter come backs. Well, the media would have you believe it was all him even though he wasnt winning games for Denver, but rather just doing well enough not to lose them.His teammates grew weary of all the praise for Tebow, but what could they do? He was apparently The Chosen One and their dreams of pummeling him could not come to fruition.According to football experts, fans, and anyone with a Pabst Blue Ribbon in their hand, Tim Tebow was sent from heaven to save the Broncos and could do no wrong.But this past Sunday the evil, diabolical Patriots came to town. No problem for the Miracle Man, right? After all, Tebows priest said god was actively interfering in Broncos games to help Tebow win. Still, Tebow felt compelled to ask for one last favor.A simple request. And according to Tebows priest this was as good as done. On Sunday around 4:15 in Denver, Tebows prayers were answered and god did descend from the heavens to answer his prayers.Tebow quickly realized that the old phrase be careful what you wish for could not be more true.God came down to visit Tebow that day but he wasnt on Tebows side. He crushed the hopes of Tebow and the city of Denver, forcing Tebow to try to win a game with his arm.Tebow and the Broncos were battered and bruised as Tom Brady put on a god-like performance and showed them all what a real quarterback is.Tebow looked to the sky for help, but no helping was coming. Nothing could save Tebow and the Broncos from the Patriots machine. God did visit Tebow that day and he brought his wrath down upon the sinners in Denver.A shocked and shaken Tebow cursed the heavens as Tom Brady smiled.As Brady ascended back to his home after the convincing victory he had a few final words for the supposed Miracle Man

Sheary, Crosby lead Penguins past Bruins, 5-1


Sheary, Crosby lead Penguins past Bruins, 5-1

PITTSBURGH - Conor Sheary scored two goals, Sidney Crosby added his league-leading 28th and the Pittsburgh Penguins won their fourth straight game, 5-1 over the Boston Bruins.

Pittsburgh led 2-1 through two periods before breaking out in the third with three goals in a span of 2 minutes, 57 seconds.

Sheary scored his 17th and has nine goals in nine games. Bryan Rust added his 12th and Patric Hornqvist his 11th for the Penguins, who won a season-high seventh straight at home. Pittsburgh the NHL's best home team, is 13-0-1 in its last 14 home games.

Evgeni Malkin had two assists for a season-best seven-game point streak. Crosby added two assists for a three-point game. Matt Murray made 44 saves to win his fourth straight game.

David Krejci scored his 11th for the Bruins, who have lost four straight and five of their last six.