The 5 types of panicking Sox fans

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The 5 types of panicking Sox fans

By Jon Fucile
WickedGoodSports.com

It's that time of year again! Hockey playoffs? Nope! NFL draft? Nope! Red Sox "fans" constantly overreacting to every pitch, at bat, game and inning to the point where you just want to beat them about the face and neck with a tire iron?! DING DING DING! We have a winner!

The Red Sox got thoroughly dominated in a three-game, season-opening set against the defending American League championship Texas Rangers and many "fans" are already talking about how the Red Sox wasted their money and spouting reasons the team should fire Francona. After three games. Apparently there is no chance for redemption in the remaining 246 games of the regular season.

The Five Stages of Panicking Red Sox Fans

1) Angry calls to radios shows. Fans are calling in by the barrelful talking about how everyone should be traded. Carl Crawford is an overpaid bum. Jon Lester couldn't strike out a team full of third-graders. Terry Francona couldn't manage a Dairy Queen. The Pink Hats will be the best. Crawford needs to pitch better. Lester needs to stop making so many errors in the field. Francona is the worst catcher in the history of baseball!

Basically these whiny, sorry excuses for fans want everyone who will listen to know the season is over and this is why the Red Sox never, ever, ever, ever win anything ever. How sad. Shudda you face.

2) Denouncing their fandom. Quite frankly these "fans" are sick of rooting for a team that quite cleary isn't going to win the World Series after three games. Every other team ever in the history of sports has never lost a game but the Red Sox just can't win.

Dumpsters are filled with Red Sox shirts and posters. Hats and jerseys are on fire in the streets. Screw this team. We should go find that Wally guy and beat him in a field! STUPID LOSER RED SOX!!!

3) Bridge jumping. There is no point to watching any more games this season. Fans waited all winter for the season to begin and now there is nothing left to watch. Or to live for. Time to head on over to the Tobin with the rest of the fans and do your best Montreal Canadien impression and dive. SEASON OVER MAN! SEASON OVER!

4) Needlessy starting "Yankees Suck!" chants at the most inappropriate times. Red Sox fans seem to hate the Yankees more than they like the Red Sox. They are so wrapped up in hating the Yankees that it is amazing they've even noticed the Sox got swept by the Rangers.

When things are not going well for the Red Sox, Sox fans simply focus on hating on the Yankees despite the Yankees having won a crap ton more titles and having a better overall record against the Red Sox throughout history. So Sox fans chants. At concerts. At Patriots games. At Bruins games. Even if there is no mention of any New York team. No one said Sox fans are the smartest.

5) Jumping back on the bandwagon. Inevitably the Red Sox will win 7 games in a row or something and the same fans that were calling for a Crawford trade or a Terry Francona hanging will pretend like they always believed in the team all long.

Julien sidesteps job security question with "shock journalism" comment

Julien sidesteps job security question with "shock journalism" comment

BOSTON -- With three crushing losses in a row at a time when results are really all that matters, the Boston Bruins are reeling at the wrong time during the regular season. The B’s tried their best to win a game 0-0 with strong defense against a sleepy Chicago Blackhawks bunch on Friday night, but ultimately coughed up a Marian Hossa goal in the final minutes for a 1-0 regulation loss at TD Garden.

The defeat continued a swirl downward for the Black and Gold over the last week, and was a second straight shutout loss on home ice for the first time in almost 15 years. The losing stretch has also kicked up the chatter that Claude Julien is in trouble as head coach of the Bruins, and the hockey club’s underperformance up and down the lineup is ultimately going to cost the NHL’s longest tenured bench boss his job.

The Ottawa Senators have passed the Bruins in the Atlantic Division, and it’s only a matter of time before the Toronto Maple Leafs move by them as well with both Toronto and Ottawa holding six games in hand on Boston. Combine all of this with the B’s having missed the playoffs in each of the previous two seasons leading into this one, and it shouldn’t be at all surprising that Julien is squarely on the coaching hot seat.

The B’s bench boss was asked about his job security after the Chicago loss, and clearly didn’t appreciate the tough, but appropriate question.

“Well, I’m not into shock-journalism,” said Julien in a prideful tone. “So I’ll stay away from that question if you don’t mind.”

The Bruins posted their Saturday schedule shortly after Julien and the B’s players had addressed the media following the loss, and sure enough the embattled coach is scheduled to address the media post-practice as part of the regular practice day routine. So it doesn’t seem that a move with Julien is imminent this weekend despite another loss, but both the coach and the players know something is going to happen to shake things up with this team if they continue to struggle.

“Right now it’s a results based situation, so if you’re going to keep losing games then probably something’s going to happen,” said Torey Krug. “But right now we’re just pretty down emotionally after this game, so I don’t want to look at the big picture. I just [want to] focus on what’s going on in this room, and hopefully we can come back with a good effort the next game.”

A good effort might help Julien’s standing with the Bruins in the short term, but it’s impossible to imagine the B’s bench boss making it through the rest of the Bruins regular season given all of things working against him right now.