By Justin Aucoin
If youre reading this then youre one of maybe 100 Bostonians still alive. The rest, were afraid, are probably floating down the Charles River and into the bay.
They might be better off.
Should you be one of those 100 Bostonians left, you can mark yesterday down in the history books. On Thursday, February 24, 2011 at around 3:30 in the afternoon, Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge went insane.
He did what the Red Coats couldnt kill New Englands pride.
Ainge then sent half of whatever Celtics roster was left for a draft pick, a bag of cash, a pack of cigarettes and a used Lebron James jockstrap.
After the dust settled half of Boston started drinking whiskey straight while the other half have a scab from where they were scratching their heads all night. Some of the Wicked Good Sports crew were part of the head scratching team
the rest of us went straight for the liquor cabinet. Even our cats took the trades hard.
Our cats dont drink good beer, apparently.
And after we woke up and popped a few Excedrins to ease the throbbing we realized something no one still knows what the hell Danny Ainges doing.
Have no fear. We have a few theories:
1) Hes been brainwashed by Phil Jackson
Youre getting sleeeeeepy... and centers are over rated.
2) Hes actually Miami Heat sleeper agent
3) He figured -- after the Bruins acquisition of Chris Kelly and Rich Peverly there were enough centers in Boston.
Wheres the face off circle?
4) He brought back way too much peyote from a recent weekend to Vegas.
5) And lastly, hes turned heel.
Only time will tell