11 New Year's resolutions in the sports world for 2011

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11 New Year's resolutions in the sports world for 2011

By Mary Paoletti and Adam Hart
CSNNE.com

Here are the sports world resolutions that were told to Wicked Good Sports on this New Year's Eve day. Enjoy the holiday, everyone!

BRETT FAVRE
I'm really retiring this year guys. For real. Honest. But that's not my resolution. My resolution is I'll be purchasing the local NBC affiliate near Hattiesburg, Mississippi. The call letters will now be WDBDT (What Did Brett Do Today?). Charmed the FCC into letting me have five letters. Does that impress you Miss Reporter Lady? . . . No?

Anyway, the local six p.m. newscast'll be thirty minutes of the most-interesting TV in the country:

Brett Favre has set the record for most uninterrupted time on a ride-on mower, spending eight hours on Bessy today -- WDBDT caught up with him . . .Brett Favre has declared today State Quarterback Day; Mississippi residents are asked to honor the quarterback in their lives by preparing a bounty of text messages . . .Brett Favre threw passes at Oak Grove High School today, but he seemed wishy-washy on if this means he'll be returning to the NFL for yet another amazing season . . .

It's a rule every sentence must start with "Brett Favre." Knew that'd put a smile on your face.

UCONN WOMEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM
Geno Auriemma, here, speaking on behalf of the most dominant women's college program of all time. Our team resolution is to never lose again. Ever. Stanford did end our record 90-game win streak on Thursday night, but like I said, I'm not destroyed about it. Why? Because winning that many games in a row is ridiculous. It was getting so crazy that I decided to let the Cardinals win the game. I was actually getting bored with winning all the time.

None of you probably noticed but during games I was usually reciting the Italian alphabet in my head or trying to think of new ways to make my chicken parm more exciting and flavorful. Letting Stanford end the greatest win streak in not-men's sports was the kick in the ass I needed to wake up and get back to coaching, know what I mean? I'm going to make the girls clean every toilet on campus on New Years Eve and then we're going to start working on being boringly awesome again. Salud!
BUD SELIG
Since my contract runs out after 2012, I need to lay the groundwork for tricking MLB owners into giving me another extension. I will be the first MLB Commissioner to commission from beyond the grave -- it's inevitable . . . Eeeexxccellent.

TOM BRADY
A 13-2 team. Setting records on a weekly basis. Supermodel wife. I've got to take a step back, and that's what I'm looking to do in 2011. Maybe tone it down to 50 charitable events, no new genetically perfect children and put a hard cap on how many dogs in New England can be named Brady; let's sprinkle some Bennys, Deions and Logans in there. Oh, and I swear I'm only saving 15 cats from trees this year. I don't like it anymore than you, but one man can only do so much.

RANDY MOSS
In 2011 I'll shed these loser teams and rejoin the Patriots. Don't get it twisted, this ain't me crawling back like a dog. Sure, I miss 'em -- especially Woody. But they'll be begging me to come back; you know Deion Branch can't hold the Earf on his shoulders.

TIGER WOODS
Good afternoon. And thank you for joining me as I make my New Year's resolution public. Many of you reading this probably hate me. Many of you reading this don't actually know me. Many of you have booed me, or made fun of me, a few have begged, "Tell me how to get mad booty!", and now, every one of you has good reason to listen to me now and blog about it later. I want to say to each of you, simply, and directly, I am deeply loving being single and will never get married again.

I know people want to find out how I could be so amazing at picking up chicks. People want to know how I could have gotten tied down with Elin and been father to some children when I could be raiding the world of the hottest women out there. And while I have always tried to be a private person, there are some things I want to say. So Nike and I have put together an instructional video, called "The Art of Macking: How I Get it Done." It is my resolution to get even more dollars and even more ladies in 2011. And some golf stuff, I guess. Watch me now!

LEBRON JAMES
BronBron's resolution for 2011? To un-contract my full basketball potential. I feel that the The Decision contracted my attention on The Game of Basketball. I need to fix that. While me, Bosh and D-Wade have started de-contracting people's expectations for the Miami Heat already, we still have a ways to go. This is why I plan to work even harder in the new year at contracting distractions, embracing the non-contraction of our new team chemistry, and stop fighting the contractualization of my supporters. Haters only gon' make me better. Contraction.

MICHAEL VICK
I will not get violent retribution on a bowtie-less Tucker Carlson, who said on TV I should have been executed for dog fighting. I am totally reformed and in no way will chain Tucker Carlson to a fence without food and water. I certainly will not beat Tucker Carlson with a switch for losing a fight saying those things about me. I am reformed in 2010, and 2011 will be no different.

THE VUVUZELA
BZZZZZZZZZZ! Naw, I'm just kiddin'. Life has been interesting since the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. I've certainly gotten a lot of attention since then but it's been something of a mixed bag. Is it good that a wave of vuvuzela awareness has spread across the world? Absolutely. Is the criticism sometimes a little hard on my plastic soul, though? Yes, it is. A couple bans cropped up.... (All sporting events at the Cardiff City, SWALEC and Millennium Stadiums, Wimbledon, Melbourne Cricket Ground, Yankee Stadium, Fuji Rock Festival, Southeastern Conference of NCAA sports, UFC events, Gaelic Athletic Association events, 2010 Little League World Series, UEFA -- including all Champions League, Europa League and Euro 2012 events-- 2011 Rugby World Cup, Atlanta Thrashers home games, Kontinental Hockey League, 2010 FIBA World Championship and other hoops tourneys from then on, the entire NFL).

Yeah. That was a bit of a dark period for me. The Gaelic Athletic Association thing was particularly tough because my Ma's Scottish. But I'm resolving to keep positive. Here's to 2011 -- The Year of the Vuvuzela!

REX RYAN
Look, I've got nothing to apologize for. I like feet. Is that a crime? I defy you to say my wife's toes aren't the hottest toes you've ever seen in your life. I mean, look at the pedicure! . . . I'm getting all flustered. This better not ruin snack time.

That's how you do a revolution sic, right?

STEVEN STAMKOS
Resolution? Man, I don't know. Can I resolve to be any more awesome? I guess, but I'm pretty amazing as it is. Ho'! Don't you take that for cockiness. It's just stating facts. Here I am, an NHL phenom at 20 years old. My 31 goals and 56 points might sit behind Crosby's on the offensive leaders chart (32G, 65P), but he's barely ahead, and with three years of life on me!

Plus, I'm taller. Everybody knows that tall people are more successful in life and produce better babies. Oh, and Crosby shoots lefty. Lefties think they're special but that's just a lie parents tell them so they don't realize that they're actually weird social outcasts. So maybe I'll resolve to be nicer to Sid because he's gotta be hurting today. While his point streak ends and he has to part with that dirty filthstache of his, I'm doing stuff like this:

Three things we learned from the Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Twins

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Three things we learned from the Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Twins

Three Things we learned from the Boston Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Minnesota Twins:

1) It only seems like David Ortiz can come through every time.

When Ortiz comes to the plate as he did Friday night -- bases loaded, no out, bottom of the ninth, Red Sox trailing by a run -- it seems like a win is a fait accompli.

"I think everybody in the ballpark just assumed this one might have a chance to be ended right there,'' said John Farrell. "He's been so big for us that everybody in the dugout felt the same way -- confident that the stage was set for him to come through with another dramatic moment.''

Instead, Ortiz rolled over a ground ball to second, and with the Twins infield drawn in, it was enough to turn a 4-2-3 double play that took the starch out of the inning for the Sox.

If anything, though, the inning revealed how remarkable Ortiz has been so often. It's not easy to come through even most times, and it's certainly far from automatic.

"The pitcher (closer Brandon Kintzler) made good pitches,'' said Ortiz. "That's the name of the game. I'm always looking forward to something happening. It just doesn't work out all the time.''

2) Eduardo Rodriguez has his slider back.

When Rodriguez endured a rough stretch in late May and June, he seemed to all but abandon his slider, relying almost exclusively on his two-seam fastball and changeup.

But since returning from a stint in Pawtucket, Rodriguez has flashed the slider that made him so effective as a rookie last season.

"Since he's come back,'' said Farrell, "he's added much more depth. He's able to get to the back foot of some righthanders for some swing-and-miss. He was on the plate with three quality pitches for strikes tonight.''

"I feel like I can locate it better, where I want it,'' confirmed Rodriguez. "Outside, inside corner...I'm getting more confident in it. I think I got out of my mind the tipping (pitches) stuff and all that stuff and I'm just working to throw the ball right where I want it.''

It's almost impossible for a starter in the big leagues to survive with just two pitches, as Rodriguez was attempting to do earlier this season. And it seems foolish to even try, given that Rodriguez's slider can be a plus-pitch for him at times.

3) If Mookie Betts has to miss some time, the Red Sox have options in right field.

Farrell said Betts has been dealing with soreness and stiffness in his right knee since after the All-Star break and has been undergoing treatment.

There's no evidence that this is serious, and he's considered day-to-day. But even if Betts needs some time off, or in a worse-case scenario, has to go on the DL, the Sox can do some things with their outfield.

Michael Martinez's best outfield position is right, as he demonstrated Friday night after taking over for Betts in the top of the fifth. Martinez ran a long way to grab a ball in foul territory for the final out in the sixth, then turned in a fine, tumbling catch in the eighth to take extra bases away from Adam Grossman.

Bryce Brentz, who's been in a platoon of sorts in left with Brock Holt, has played a lot of right field in the minors and has the arm strength to play there.

Finally, there's the matter of Andrew Benintendi. The Sox raised some eyebrows with the news that they were having Benintendi move over to left field at Double A Portland, perhaps in anticipation of playing the position for Boston at some point later this year.

Benintendi is a natural center fielder and even though he doesn't much experience in right, if you're athletic enough to play center, you can usually move to either corner spot.

Quotes, Notes and Stars from the Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Twins

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Quotes, Notes and Stars from the Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Twins

Quotes, Notes and Stars from the Boston Red Sox' 2-1 loss to the Minnesota Twins:

QUOTES:

"I think everybody in the ballpark just assumed this one had a chance to be ended right there.'' - John Farrell on David Ortiz's at-bat with no out and the bases loaded in the ninth inning.

"I feel like I can locate it better - outside, inside corner -- so it's given me more confidence.'' - Eduardo Rodriguez on the improvement with his slider.

"I always look forward to something (good) happening; it just doesn't work out all the time.'' - David Ortiz on his ninth-inning at-bat.

NOTES:

* The Red Sox saw a seven-game winning streak at Fenway -- their longest of the season -- snapped.

* Boston has homered in 13 consecutive games.

* The Red Sox bullpen has posted a 1.17 ERA since July 6.

* Mookie Betts became the first Red Sox hitter to hit 20 homers in a season before he turns 24 since Nomar Garciaparra.

* Dustin Pedroia has reached base in 30 straight games.

* The eight strikeouts posted by Eduardo Rodriguez were a season high and one shy of his career high.

* The loss was only the 15th this season in games in which the Red Sox score first.

* Rodriguez has not allowed an opposing baserunner to steal a base since July 5, 2015.

STARS:

1) Kyle Gibson

Don't let the 5.12 ERA he had coming in fool you. Gibson worked out a little jam in the first, then completely shut the Red Sox down the rest of the way, allowing just one hit and one walk after the first.

2) Brian Dozier

Dozier homered in the second to tie the game, singled in the fourth, walked in the sixth and singled again in the eighth -- reaching base in all four plate appearances.

3) Miguel Sano

Sano invited trouble when he dropped a routine pop-up to allow the Red Sox to put the potential tying run on base in the eighth. But he had three base hits on the night, including a run-scoring double that put the Twins ahead to stay in the sixth.

Sean McAdam can be followed on Twitter: @Sean_McAdam