By Justin Aucoin
The big news yesterday came from the NBA which canceled the first two weeks of the regular season. For those wondering what the NBA and the NBAPA have been doing all summer and early-fall, heres a sneak peek behind the scenes:
Great. Well, they have to be getting closer to a deal, right?
"The gap is so significant that we just can't bridge it at this time," said Stern. Both sides are very far apart on virtually all issues. ... We just have a gulf that separates us."
Well, aint that just peaches.
So, is there any hope for the NBA season? Probably about as much as us scoring a date with Scarlett Johansson, somewhere between slim and yougottabekiddingright.
If there is going to be a season this year both sides need to work fast. Time to settle this Wicked Good Sports style.
Choose the BPI via Histriker contest
For those who dont know, BPI stands for Basketball Related Income, which pretty much determines how much players and owners get and split in regards to money. The players currently have 57; the owner want 50. Only one way to settle this with a histriker contest.
The higher each side hits the bell, the higher that sides BPI is. And to make it fun, only the suits can take part no players.
One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war!
No way either side is manly enough for a full, all-out arm-wrestle.
Rock, Paper, Scissors
Perhaps thumb wrestling is a little bit too much work for the NBA and NBAPA. Maybe a classic schoolhouse game of Rock, Paper, Scissors would do the trick. Best out of seven.
Were sure this would go fine until Billy Hunter started playing by "Big Bang Theory" rules.
A calming, fun game of Parcheesi
Who doesnt love this game?
Or, better yet:
And if all else fails, nothing says I win like kicking the other guy where it really counts.
Lets be honest, this might be the best way for them to end the lockout. Who wouldnt want to see this?