By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com
Arizona Senator John McCain is either the biggest political troll in the United States or hes just really, really butthurt over how the Arizona Diamondbacks-Milwaukee Brewers playoff series went.
Of course, McCain has led the charge in Washington against professional baseball players from using steroids and other performing enhancing drugs (PEDs). Its part of his plan to deport all the illegal immigrants from the US.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo a political joke on a sports site. Didnt see that coming, did ya? But Justin, Braun was born in California. Hes not an immigrant. Shut up. Youre ruining my McCain joke.
The tests are still being debated, of course. Brauns camp is saying the tests are flawed (shocker!). Were not exactly sure which test the MLB gave Braun to find out that he was juicing up, but we do know they brought in legendary reporter and dope doctor John Steigerwald for his patented and 100 accurate eyeball test.
As Steigerwald would state, clearly, Braun 'roids three times a day.
But going back to McCains wish of a do over series. I mean, did Red Sox fans bitch and moan when it came out that Jason Giambi was juicing during the 2003 postseason where he was hitting home runs left and right for the Yanks? Hell yea. Did Mets fans complain when Ken Caminiti came clean that use juiced during his NL MVP season (second place vote was Mike Piazza, by the way). Hell yea.
Neither happened.
But, Justin, I think youre taking this McCain wants a do-over a bit too seriously. Am I? Am I really? Does this look like a joking face?
In Brauns defense, he was busted for only having high testosterone levels. This could mean hes juicing, or it could mean thats the next step in the evolution of man. Hes super man (not to be confused with that giant cape flying crybaby in tights). I mean, he owns his own shaving company right?
Clearly he did so because he has high testosterone levels and needs to shave every few hours so he doesnt look like Teen Wolf. Or maybe hes experimenting on how to get people to shave more injecting them with testosterone while shaving.
I dunno. It could be either one of those reasons.
But, ladies (and gents), you know what high testosterone levels mean right?