By Justin Aucoin
WickedGoodSports.com
Ever since Janet Jackson gave America a Sex Ed lesson during the Super Bowl half-time show all those many moons ago, the NFL had been playing it safe with aging rockers like Bruce Springsteen, U2 and The Who.
By doing so the NFL was called out of touch and old, so they decided to bring in the biggest pop-trash group from 2003.
The Black Eyed Peas!
We can only imagine that Gary Bettman and the NHL gave entertainment booking advice to the NFL. Was there no one more relevant available?
Some people defined the Black Eyed Peas performance as lackluster. Others called it dull as a plastic knife. Many probably switched the station to the super adorable Puppy Bowl.
We saw a beautiful train wreck.
We saw was a surreal display of an entertainment disaster. It looked like Tron, Mad Max and Lite Bright got drunk one night, mated...
...and this popped out:
Actually:
Now that would be a show worth booking.
The Black Eyed Peas promised to bring energy which nowadays apparently means stand there and rock back and forth. We blame the Internet culture. Stoopid Internetz.
But maybe were being too harsh. Its probably extremely difficult to move when youre encased in leather suits with enough rhinestones, glitter and LED lights to make eight-year-old girls jealous.
And to top it all off, the BEPs brought in some square-heads.
Now, where have we seen this before? Hmm
Hello, Will.i.Am? Fergie? Brett and Jermaines lawyer is on line one.
Overall the performance was, as some called it, dull as a plastic spoon. It made us yearn for the shenanigans of Prince.
At least he knew all the words to the songs. Right, Christina?